Confessions: My husband is 42, has a good job but wonâ€™t invest

We are both 42 and live in a rented house in a nice neighborhood. We studied together for both our undergraduate and post graduate degrees and were blessed with good jobs. However, we spend most of our money to pay rent and maintain a standard of living that I feel is too high for us.

We have no investment (not even a small plot) and we survive mostly on credit cards. Whenever I bring up the issue of investing in land or houses he always has reasons why it is wrong time to buy anything. If I try to buy on my own, he says that I want to leave him and many other nasty things. He has not even built a house for himself at home and it is always shameful to sleep in his mother’s house when we go visiting them.

How can I get my husband to at least think of about investing for security of our family? He is too obsessed with this lifestyle of big cars and living in nice apartments.

Phyllis, life is a matter of choices. Remember you may be investment-minded when he loves an extravagant life. Let him not think that at forty he is growing any younger. If are working then you have to know that you are soon retiring in ten to 15 years coming. Does it mean you are backing off your good ideas because he has a feeling that you want to leave him? What would you do if you lost your jobs today without an alternative way to eat or get money. Let him not kill your ambition for high life that will never last!

{Ouma Rangumo – Sifuyo}

That is a man whose ego is bigger than his ability. He has shown that he likes good things and will not feel offended if the same comes his way. Plan your expenditure, buy and let him know that you have bought, for the benefit of the family. He will finally come round to seeing that you have always meant well for the family and join you. Help him see sense in this without necessarily shouting at each other.

{Tasma Charles}

Phyllis, set a goal for yourself and go ahead to invest, but do not tell him. Instead, surprise him with your actions a few years later.

{Mercy Mwariri}

Which bell are you waiting for so you can go ahead and invest. Sometimes we lead by actions then the people follow later. Show him them way.

{Joanne Kilaya}

Set the pace Phyllis; you are doing this for your family and he will come to respect you for it someday. I wish you all the best. However, remember to respect him as the head of the house.

{Berita Mwende}