Happy couples in and out of pregnancy

Q. How much does a man get involved with his wife during pregnancy?

For married couples, the news that the woman is pregnant may either bring joy or become a new source of conflict and discontent in the relationship. This is due to emotional, physical and hormonal changes in the woman’s body that put more demand on the man to provide more moral support and emotional investment.

Some of the things a man can do include reading some books on pregnancy to understand the journey the woman takes before, during and after pregnancy.

It is also important to accompany her to doctor’s appointments as a show of solidarity and moral support. He can also help in reducing her stress levels by encouraging her to have adequate sleep and giving her back rubs.

The hormonal changes a woman experiences during pregnancy can make her difficult to relate with. The man should, therefore, learn how to be patient with her. The woman may feel that the changes make her feel less attractive. The man should affirm her by telling her how beautiful she looks. Cuddling her will also build her esteem. He should also help with the household chores to give her more time to rest.

Q. Is sex safe during pregnancy?

Unless for medical restrictions, sex during pregnancy should be fulfilling and exciting to both partners.

In fact, sex during pregnancy may be exciting for the woman due to the increase in vaginal discharge, as well as more sensitivity around the genitals.

However, some of the risks during pregnancy is STI, cervix dilation, pre-term delivery, vaginal bleeding or abnormal discharge. It’s important to discuss any fears or unusual happenings with a medical practitioner or a gynaecologist. If you are advised not to have sex, then other ways of demonstrating affection such as cuddling and so forth can be explored.

Q. How long after delivery should a couple resume sex?

For normal delivery, most bleeding has stopped after three weeks from the date of delivery, although both of you may not be emotionally and psychologically prepared to have sex. The woman may also be at the height of post natal depression. So, a good time to resume would be between two to three months later.

Q. When should the baby move to the baby sot/crib?

After the three to four months. However, you can prepare by placing her there to take naps.

Q. Does the woman lose value after birth?

The value of the woman does not change. However, physical changes on her body, like adding weight and losing the muscular tone of the vagina may make her feel less attractive. Her partner can affirm her and demonstrate unique ways of loving. The woman should also be positive, maintain a healthy self-esteem and openly share her fears

Just like other relationship problems, talking it out is the only way to create mutual understanding. Exercises can also help restore a desired physique. However, after all is said and done, ‘it’s for better or worse’. The man should continue loving his wife and work out any concerns and unmet expectations together. The couple must discuss what works best.

Photo: madamenoire.com

The writer is a relationship expert. You can reach her on [email protected] or @sheilaAwachira.