How to let go of toxic relationships

This season is a great opportunity to evaluate yourself and your relationships. Are your relationships growing and thriving or have they stagnated? Are you growing towards oneness, or further apart? Relationships are worth working on and beginning the year with a reflection, evaluation and a way forward is a good plan. It helps to take an honest audit at the end of every year.

Every New Year brings with it a sense of renewal, new energies, excitement and anticipation.  It also brings along great expectations, much optimism and gratitude. Oh Yes! Another year for your relationships to grow and thrive!   

It is helpful to answer the question “who am I ” and defining every relationship in your life. Truth be told, having a successful and fulfilling relationship means being thoughtful on a daily basis about your contribution to the relationship. It is similar to a garden, which to enjoy its full benefits one has to engage in ground preparation, weeding, trimming and watering.

Successful marriage

Likewise a good relationship must be nurtured in order to create a successful marriage. At the same time, it is important to acknowledge that some relationships simply need to go. Toxic relationships ought to go in the New Year.

Make it happen, like Emmah did;“ I was surrounded by toxic individuals, a few years ago, and these association were so toxic, I did not realize just how much this was killing me. I must admit that I was guilty of poor judgment concerning associations. The only reason that I continued holding on to them was simply because I was too scared, to let go. 

I thought that I needed them to make it in life, and without them my life would be over. These individuals had a way of bringing me down, making me feel worthless, useless and good for nothing, often was I told so, yet I continued to allow them to abuse me. I did whatever they needed me to do, even if it was against my better judgment.

It was so important for me to fit in and be counted in the number, call it keeping up with the Jones, or peer pressure.  I always gave in to what they needed because I was too scared to refuse, regardless of how uncomfortable I felt, I had given up my values, rights and powers. That is now in the past, thanks for the empowerment, I now have a new lease of life!  Oh how I feel liberated and life has taken a new meaning”!”

Your potential

Like Emmah you need a new lease of life in 2014, surely its worth working on. Toxic relationships simply get you sick and bring you down. A toxic relationship can hold you back, denying you of exploiting your full potential growing and thriving. You simply have to take responsibility and bring them to a stop! Acknowledge your feelings and have a strategy.

It is not uncommon to have toxic relationships, they come in many forms: the employer who is understanding and considerate on one hand and on the other extremely demanding and critical.  Close friends, associates or relatives who demand attention on your time, and have no regard for you, they simply require that you fit in to match up.  Even more challenging, it could be a spouse who constantly puts you down. It may be easy for you to identify toxic relationships but it is a lot harder to get rid of them.  Whatever you do define the limits in 2014 and thrive!

The writer is a Relationship Coach and Author, Marriage Built to Last

You can reach her on; www.jenniekarina.co.ke