My sons and i contracted HIV from our house girl

I just discovered that I am HIV positive and I think our house help infected me since she is the only other woman I have been with for the last couple of years. A few weeks ago, my wife shared some worrying suspicions. She suspects that our 16-year-old son is having a thing with the house girl. I am worried that the girl could also be sleeping with our second born who is 14. I am so scared about what this could mean for my family. Help! 

{McOduor}

YOUR TAKE

This reads like yet another script from Sodom and Gomorrah. House girls are not innocent angels. Quickly visit the nearest VCT, all five of you. Lord have mercy!

{Peter Karanja, Nairobi}

You have all been eating poisoned food from the same plate. It is time to face it and seek counselling together with your family, the worst has already happened. Take heart.

{John Keng’abi-Keumbu, Kisii}

The Bible says that you reap what you sow and that the wages of sin is death! You need to do a HIV test and should the results be positive, then your entire household will require counselling.

{Ben Shikuku, Bungoma County}

In our culture, we say that a child who cries for a razor should be given. You cried for a razor and now that you have been cut, you are crying. Had you made your clandestine moves open early, you would have saved your family. The truth is a bitter pill to swallow but it will set you free. First visit a VCT and tell your son to do the same. Cautiously inform your wife about your relationship with the house help but don’t tell her about the HIV yet; otherwise, you will lose the confidence and trust you have taken over 15 years to build.

{Ouma Ragumo, Sifuyo}

Now that you have known your status, you should take your entire family for testing.

{John Mogeni, Dadaab}

What a mess and disgrace you have put yourself, your wife and son. It has happened and the best solution is for you, your wife, son and the maid to go for counselling and testing to confirm your HIV status. Involve a pastor to sort this mess.

{Onyango Outha Jauduny}

That is what we call short-circuit. Take your son for VCT and no matter the outcome, get time with him and counsel him. Let him know the dangers of sex at his age. Let your wife also go for a HIV test. She may still be HIV negative. It is only honesty that can get you out of the mess. Focus on the future and help your family.

{Tasma Charles}

You have hurt your whole family. You should have been a role model to your son, but you have led them astray. The house girl knew that you were immoral and that is why she took advantage of your sons since she knew they would be like you. Think about how you will talk to you wife because she is the only innocent party. Also talk to your sons so that all of you can start medication as soon as possible.

{Mary Macharia, Nanyuki}

COUNSELLOR’S TAKE

This situation is already as bad as it can get, so you need to confront the matters at hand and deal with them as they are and not as they ought to be. First, you have and you continue putting your wife at risk and this should be your greatest concern. Encourage her to take the test and this could be the best thing you ever did for her. This is because she may not be infected yet thus you will get a chance to protect her, but even if she is, there is still an opportunity to prevent multiple re-infections.

About your sons, you may take counsel with them and ensure they fully understand the dangers of unprotected sex. Be open about this and even offer to buy them condoms ‘just in case’. You may not have to take direct responsibility over their actions, especially if you have taken time to counsel with them about sexual relations.

As for the girl, I wonder what she is still doing in your house. Release her peacefully and put your house in order.

{Taurus}