I’m scared of losing my man to the bottle

My fiancé paid my brideprice two months ago, and we are planning for a wedding mid next year. He is an engineer by profession, but he prefers to spend his days drinking rather than working. Most days, he is drunk by noon. Although employed by his father, he has been fired twice for gross misconduct, in both cases for working under the influence of alcohol.

He does not help me with any of the household expenses, but he is doing his best to get me pregnant. I pay for everything despite both of us having some income, but I really love this man and hope he will change. His mother has hope that he will reform some day, but I have reservations about this. Please advise on what I should do — I foresee a life of misery.

{Lydia}

Your Take

Your fiancé needs prayers and counselling. If you love him, consider this.

(BEN SHIKUKU)

Don’t let the dowry fool you. If you have any doubts, the sooner you act the better. This might get out of hand once you conceive.

 (ERIC)

It is good you are concerned about your fiancé’s drinking habit; address this before you say ‘I do’. He needs to man up and be the husband he should be.

(SHARON)

The first mistake you would commit is accepting to have his baby. If he is not taking care of you, what makes you think he will take care of the baby? Be very cautious.

(ZACK)

Marriage is too serious an institution to be built on such a shaky foundation.  (BEN ALWALA)

Choices have consequences. If that’s the man you are in love with, you must brace yourself for dealing with his shortcomings. All the best.

(KIMWAMA MARWA)

The writing is on the wall. This guy will probably not change his habits since, despite everybody hoping he will, nobody is taking any concrete steps to help him reform, for instance taking him for rehabilitation. You should, therefore, decide to put up with it or quit before the vows bind you. (OYOO WYCKLIFE)

Counsellor’s Take

Lydia, I have heard that good men are hard to come by, but this does not imply that a woman should take any nonsense thrown at her just because a man has declared his interest in marrying her.

In marriage, fights that emanate from or revolve around money are generally more than the fights that emanate from infidelity or lack of trust. You are barely married, yet you cannot stand this man’s unbecoming behaviour, and more so his financial habits. If he has been fired twice by his own father, then you can be sure that he cannot get and keep a job anywhere else.

This man needs help — now. If he refuses to seek help or to utilise the help offered to him, then you ought to carefully consider or reconsider getting married to him, otherwise you are right; it is going to be a lifetime of misery.

 In addition to this, it is about time you stopped paying for everything and encouraged him to take up some of the financial responsibilities.

{Taurus}