My wife and I and our two young children went on holiday with my best friend and his wife, who have kids the same age.
We stayed in a villa in Spain and on the last day we decided to go to a water park. At the last minute my wife told me she felt poorly and decided to stay at the villa and rest.
My best friend wasn’t coming anyway because he had a work call.
When we got there I realised I’d forgotten my youngest child’s armbands and rather than pay for new ones, I nipped back to the villa to get them.
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When I got there, I heard noises coming from our bedroom and found my wife and best friend in bed together.
I felt sick.
I’ve known my best friend for 30 years and my wife and I have been together for more than 10.
I stormed back to the water park and told his wife, who almost collapsed in front of all the kids and started sobbing. Something I now regret.
We all had to fly home together which was the hardest day of my life. Now we’re back, my wife has been inconsolable and says it’s the biggest mistake of her life and it only happened twice.
She says she feels neglected as I work so much, but I do it to give my family a nice life. The kids are in bits. I don’t know what to do.
Oh my God, that is horrific. You must feel so hurt and betrayed right now. But your marriage can be saved if you want it to be.
You really need to go to couples counselling.
It’s going to be painful but it may come out that your wife has been feeling lonely and sometimes men who work very long hours don’t appreciate that while a good salary is nice, many wives just wish their husbands were home more.
Especially when they’re caring for young children.
All this needs to come out in counselling when there’s a mediator there who will encourage you to open up and listen to each other, not just shout and scream.
I have a friend this happened to years ago and they’re still together now and have grandchildren.
It was a really hard time for them both but they struggled through it.
At the end of the day you may not feel you are able to trust her again but at least you can walk away and say you’ve tried.
As for your so-called best friend, I actually think this is more unforgivable than what your wife has done for some reason.
He’s no friend of yours and one thing that cannot be saved is your friendship.
He now has to stay out of your life and I’m sure his wife will say the same if she takes him back.
It’s a mess but I wish you all the very best to work through this.