A letter to the pope: Many miracles have happened since your visit was announced

Dear Pope, we welcome you to our humble country where corruption and tribalism are the pillars of national unity. Ever since you announced your visit to our country miracles started to happen. Our national soccer team Harambee Stars started winning, Anne Waiguru, the iron lady and state witness to the corruption case at her ministry of Devolution resigned and Njoki Chege the number one male chauvinist converted to be a female lifestyle advisor.

Kenyans will be united in welcoming you to their country. They will forget about their ethnic identities, political affiliations and religious inclinations. They will come out in numbers to witness the once in a lifetime event. Politicians who have stolen and misappropriated public finances will be fighting over sitting space as each one of them would want to sit close to you .The last time some of them were seen in churches and other religious gatherings was before the last elections as they went to seek divine intervention so as to win elections. Since then, they have never been seen inside churches again. They will request you to pray for them and our country and the moment you leave, they would embark on prayer rallies in stadiums, forests and by the roadside where no mention of a single holy scripture nor the name of our Lord is mentioned. In fact, the number of times they mention the name of their political nemesis is more than they mention the name of the Lord.