Married but available

By Oyunga Pala

Ipsos Synovate, courtesy of their public affairs arm, released a poll that left relationship skeptics disturbed.

The stats basically revealed one thing that is already in public knowledge. Marital infidelity is now a national past time.

Typically, in cases of infidelity, the person at the receiving end of the cheating game is always the last person in the know.

Your wife could literally be playing right under your nose, but guys are generally too slow or arrogant to read the signs.

Women are a lot smarter at hiding their tracks. They think through the options, meticulously plan their strategies and erase all evidence that they could be anything less than a loving and faithful spouse.

A woman only reveals that she is playing the field, when she achieves a secure position and is no longer bothered by the consequences of discovery.

Men, on the other hand, only have one strategy, the away game. If the affair is conducted away from the house, it will not be detected, so the man thinks.

But since we only have enough blood to run one brain at a time, the thinking is never that thorough.

We forget to prepare an alibi, leaving evidence strewn all over the place and all the wife has to do is call her hubby’s close friend who will blubber out such an outrageous lie, he ends up implicating you.

Fidelity is no longer just the husband’s toughest test. Women are struggling as much with the notion of sexual exclusivity.

Marital boredom and fatigue is spiced up by the on-off affair and the fear and guilt of discovery gives it that adrenaline rush that lures couples back for more.

Which must be why most married couples are secretly enjoying an MBA status. We are all happily married but available for play.