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Kenya's Project X to relieve stress in turbulent times

By Ishaq Jumbe | March 11th 2016

NAIROBI: Agencies tasked with safeguarding our wealth and well-being are again barking up the wrong tree. Amid the hemorrhage of taxpayers’ monies, they have shifted attention to red flagging parties by the youth.

What they do not understand is that sometimes even the youth suffer depression and that is why they need parties to take away youth fund blues. Plus, thousands of colleagues who sat 2015 KCSE had their results cancelled. Surely anyone can understand why the future generation would require Project X to lift spirits in these turbulent times.

However, this is not to be as busybodies are doing all they can to ensure a particular party does not go down. What they do not know is that wapende wasipende, all roads lead to Kileleshwa. It’s the day to shake a leg and no one can do nothing about it.
Show of hands how many youth can resist a celebration of bad behaviour? Even if they associate it with immorality and breach of law, they shall not stand between the youth and their right to twerk.

If however, they are determined to clamp down on the civil liberty to throw a bash, this is what they should expect.

A cloud of sheesha smoke will engulf the bash making it nearly impossible to identify anyone. I am saying this because they have expressed interest in arresting organisers whose sole representative in the party might as well be the deejay. Deejay for those analogue Kenya Film Classification Board enforcers will be the man at the decks, spinning ‘Same Love’ by Art Attack and other beats with dirty words.

I can predict the time authorities will raid the venue of the party, the youth will be observing the tagline ‘no one goes home a virgin’ meaning they won’t trace most of the couples. They will have taken off to a place they can get a semblance of privacy in line with the theme of the party. Chics, dudes and a whole lot of booze. No rules, no regulations, carry your own high, herbs, pills, everything is legal.


Although pimps will be doing roaring business, the same cannot be said of drug dealers. Everyone is showing up armed with the poison of their choice. Therefore, anti-narcotics officials may not get anyone to arrest as all in the house will simply be end users.

Chewing away, sniffing and even drinking will be the order of the day. If they attempt to arrest everyone in the bash, they will be surprised that the sweaty bodies will be quite slippery. The revelers won’t be over dressed as the party requires that the least you wear the better.
In a nutshell, the police need not bother with people having a good time, not with claims of voter bribery in by-elections around the country.

Otherwise we shall just assume that the older generation, those sour-graping because they did not get a share of Eurobond monies are mad because Kileleshwa is too posh for them.

If the youth want to consume sin kiasi, it should be no one’s business.
Raunchy parties have been thrown in various high end addresses by the political class which no one disrupts. We never even get to hear about them unless someone dies mysteriously.

If this party does not happen, the youth have every right to take to the streets chanting haki yetu!

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