Letting children travel alone over the festive season

Toya Njeri Chege while her "me time" with a horse. (Jayne Rose Gacheri, The Standard) This year, Christmas and New Year will be a long holiday. Christmas Day falls on a Wednesday. This means employers will give their staff a break-off on the last Friday before Christmas, with the holiday rolling over to the New Year. Many parents will be sending off their children on solo travel. This may be for short or long distances, and for parents of teenagers and young adults, the travel may be out of the country. While parents of older children are used to letting their children take trips without them (those organised by schools, membership clubs, or churches), some parents will be sending off their children on solo trips (without adult family members) for the first time. Eliud Muguna and his wife Salome Muguna are sending their two sons on a holiday to Mombasa this festive season because their circumstances do not allow for a family vacation. Being business entrepreneurs, they want to work to the last day of the festivities. "This is not the first time that we will be sending off Bill and Robert (their 16 and 19-year-old sons), on a trip on their own as they had their first trip to Spain when they were just thirteen and sixteen years old," says Muguna, adding that the two are footballers, which earned them their trip to Spain. However, some parents this festive season for one reason or another are unable to travel for the holidays as a family - mostly due to financial constraints. According to Stephanie Muraguri, a sales manager with a tour firm, the alternative in such situations is to give the children their deserved holiday by making arrangements for them to travel without them. "The debate about whether to let the children travel alone during the festivities whether on long or short distances on their first parent-free holiday is a difficult topic for parents, and many parents have found it difficult to release their children for solo travel," explains Muraguri. The mother of three, one an eleven-year-old and two teenagers says that while some parents believe such trips can be the making of a teenager, for others, it is a nightmarish scenario. She would not have let her children travel unaccompanied before she worked for a tour firm. Since then (four years ago), she has seen many practical examples and has been part of organising children's trips for her firm. Now she gradually lets her children travel alone whenever there is an opportunity. "I have learnt to let go," she says. How to let go Muraguri says the biggest concern for parents about children travelling alone is security and safety issues. "To get over this, parents should put in place security and safety measures, by engaging the services of a travel or tour firm if the children are travelling to a holiday destination," she says. The expert says many tour operators have arrangements for children travelling unaccompanied. Parents should work with travel agents to ensure their children's safety and security while travelling alone. The Mugunas advises parents to make arrangements for children travelling alone within the country to travel with friends, and relatives, and ensure that they plan for secure transport, accommodation, and other issues that would jeopardise their travel. Technology, says Muguna, has made it easy for parents and caregivers to keep in touch with the children as they travel unaccompanied. These applications include Snapchat, WhatsApp, and Life360. Dan and Leah Mwadime who let their 13-year-old daughter travel unaccompanied to South Africa (through a tour agent arrangement), says the trip was so successful and their daughter so excited that they have since let her and her older brother travel alone many times without worry. "That one step of confidence of letting Anita (the daughter) travel alone bore fruit as it turned out to be fun, educative, and insightful for her. This has given us more confidence to allow the children to travel without us," says Mwadime. Since then the children have taken trips without their parents to many parts of the country and abroad. The couple says they have let them travel to Uganda, China, and the Philippines. The children will be taking an overland trip across seven counties from Nairobi to Livingstone (Victoria Falls) this December. They always remind their children whenever they are travelling alone to keep their phones on ready to call them if they have any issues and never to let anyone buy them drinks or food. Whenever they are travelling in a group, the advice is to always stay with their group and always to follow instruction of the team leader. "Best of all, we always remind them how important it is to enjoy themselves and to have a good time," says Leah, adding that it is good to give children confidence and to let them know that as a parent, you trust them. Expert tips According to Lisa Wanjiro, a family coach, parents want some definitive age when it would be ideal to allow children to travel alone, but the decision depends on individual child, parent and the relationship between them. She says things to consider should include their child's friendship group, how far they would be going and their child's personality. What are their life experiences like? What is their maturity level and how confident they are on their own or with a group of friends, and other people. "Parents should check on their anxiety and fear levels when faced with the challenge of letting their children travel unaccompanied so as not to let this anxiety and fear deny their children excellent travel opportunities," says the coach, adding that the decision must be a collaborative agreement to avoid pushbacks. "Find out about the arrangements - who are the planners for the travel, how well has it been planned, are you and the planners familiar with the destination? What are the probable risks? What has been put in place to counter them?" Mwadime says. However, Lisa says, sometimes parents have declined to solo travel requests for good reasons. In this case, she advises parents to be ready for heavy disappointment: "In this case, no matter the explanation about why they can't go, they will probably be angry and upset, but remember it is okay to hold those boundaries for your child".

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