Am I to blame for my miscarriage?

Having a miscarriage does not mean that you won’t be able to get pregnant again, writes DR BRIGID MONDA
A miscarriage is the loss of a pregnancy before the baby can survive outside the womb.This is usually within the first 20 weeks or five months of pregnancy.
The medical term for a miscarriage is ‘an abortion’ and is the most common type of pregnancy loss. It is a lot more common than most people know as many pregnancies are lost in the first eight weeks of pregnancy.
Many women don’t realise that they were pregnant and get what appears to be a heavier than normal period.
Miscarriages do not happen because of something you did or did not do. In a majority of cases, nothing you would have done would have changed anything.
Many miscarriages are nature’s way of getting rid of abnormal pregnancies caused, for example, by abnormalities in the genes of the fertilised egg. A baby receives half its genes from it’s father’s sperm and the other half from it’s mother’s egg. At the time these genes get together to form a normal baby, some information is sometimes lost and you miscarry. In some cases,  women may not adjust properly to the fact that she is carrying half a foreign body inside her, the foreign half having come from the father’s sperm and she may not be able to  produce the antibodies that block the baby from being rejected by her body and she will miscarry.
The risk of a miscarriage increases with age because of fewer normal eggs and hormonal imbalances, with twin pregnancy, a womb defect, an incompetent cervix, poorly controlled diabetes, autoimmune and connective tissue diseases, smoking, heavy drinking of alcohol and infections like malaria. Conceiving while taking birth control pills doesn’t increase the risk of miscarriage but conceiving while using a coil does.
When to start trying
Exercising, a minor fall, or sexual intercourse do not typically cause a miscarriage because the baby is well protected by the mother’s pelvic bones, muscles and the bag of fluid in which it floats.  The risk of having a miscarriage decreases as a pregnancy progresses and after the first eight weeks of pregnancy, the chances of miscarriage drop.
The risk of miscarriage is also related to the past pregnancies and they may be more common after a previous miscarriage. It is less common following previous normal pregnancies. Having a miscarriage does not mean that you won’t be able to get pregnant again. Most women who miscarry — even more than once — can become pregnant again and give birth to a normal healthy baby.  So when can you start trying again after a miscarriage?
Some couples begin trying for a pregnancy right away, while others need time to get over the loss. Doctors recommend that you wait for your first period after the miscarriage as there is evidence that the risk of miscarriage in the next pregnancy is about one and a half times higher if one menstrual cycle does not intervene the pregnancies. But don’t worry if you find yourself pregnant before you even have a period as many successful pregnancies have started immediately after a miscarriage.
There is no ‘right’ way to feel after a miscarriage. Many couples are devastated as the anticipation of having a baby suddenly turns to grief and your body will be undergoing some hormonal adjustments. But while it is normal to blame some specific act or situation, remember that most miscarriages are rarely triggered by factors under your control.
How do you improve your chances for next time? Remember, the most common reasons for miscarriage can’t be helped but prepare yourself for pregnancy with regular exercise, a healthy diet, reducing alcohol intake, stopping to smoke, and getting your weight right.