The Standard Group Plc is a multi-media organization with investments in media platforms spanning newspaper print
operations, television, radio broadcasting, digital and online services. The Standard Group is recognized as a
leading multi-media house in Kenya with a key influence in matters of national and international interest.
Dear Coleen
I’ve been cheating on my boyfriend for a very long time. I really love him and I’m scared he’ll be really angry when I tell him or he finds out.
I had sex with someone else at uni and most times when I go clubbing I bring a guy home. We might not actually end up having sex, but I always end up getting frisky with him.
Recently, this happened two nights in a row and on the second evening I went on to spend the night at my boyfriend’s place.
I felt so bad and he kept asking what was wrong. I love him and I know he loves me too and has never cheated on me. He was so patient with me when we met and it was about four months before we made love.
I’m not very good at hiding things from him – I always end up telling him or I will make some heavy hints – and as he’s smart he always has a way of putting two and two together.
He takes a lot of things that other guys wouldn’t put up with. I go out and come back home drunk at 11pm and he never says anything about it, although I know it upsets him.
I love him so much, but should I tell him I’ve been cheating? I cheated on him last night, too. I really want to stop but I can’t. Please help.
This kind of feels like it’s a game for you. Despite what you say, you seem to enjoy the excitement of doing this and getting away with it.
It’s like you’re testing him and daring yourself to go further and get closer to him finding out. But I’m warning you now, if it carries on he will find out.
You say you love him but I don’t think this is how you behave if that’s really the case. Maybe you’re just terrified of being alone.
Or perhaps you like the status of being in a relationship, but don’t like the confinements of it. If you love your boyfriend, this behavior doesn’t make sense to me unless you’re a sex addict.
I definitely think you need to take a hard look at what love is and if you’re ready for a committed relationship.
It’s not fair to stay with your boyfriend while you’re going out and sleeping with whoever you please on a regular basis.
You know how wrong it is and you need to acknowledge that you shouldn’t be in this relationship right now.
I’m not saying that temptation never comes along when you love someone, but part of being in a relationship is not giving in to that temptation.
And, if you do, then there must be something wrong with the relationship.
join