Relax ladies! The right man will find you when you are not even looking

There is a little nugget of wisdom I would like to share with all women - the surefire way to find a man is to stop looking for a man. Desperation is an ugly trait.

It has never wooed a man of the right calibre. Desperation can only appeal to creeps and hangers-on. The ladies who prowl bars and clubs hunting for men paint a pitiful picture. They stick out like sore thumbs. They are usually perched at the counter nursing one drink for a whole night. They throw meaningful glances at every Tom, Dick and Harry Omunyololo who looks in their direction.

Such lasses will go out with anybody who will give them the time of day, standards can go hang! They go on multiple dates hoping that one of them will be a keeper. They will brag about being hitched, but the relationships they engage in can’t really be defined.

They are usually short and unstable. Nine times out of 10, desperate girls find themselves at the mercy of douche bags who are out to take advantage of them. This desperate search for a man only leaves a trail of unfulfilling relationships and shattered self-esteem.

It sounds like a bit of a cliché, but there is a morsel of truth in the saying, “the right man will find you when you are not even looking.”

Never make men and relationships the focus of your life. Rather than blowing your time entertaining pricks, how about concentrating your energy on self-improvement? You would have better luck getting a man to fall in love with if you fall in love with yourself first. Strive to become the kind of woman who would attract the kind of man you are hoping to land. Always give the impression that you are a woman of substance.

Being in a relationship should not be the hallmark of your life. Never base your contentment on being in a relationship. A man should be there to complement your life, not define it. Self-fulfillment goes way beyond having a man to call your own.

If you find yourself in and out of meaningless relationships, you should take some time off to rediscover yourself. Stop bending over backwards to please men who are only taking you for a ride.

Sometimes loneliness might creep in and you might feel like you have to settle for whatever is available. But allowing yourself to be used as a doormat will leave you feeling worse.

Independent women have men lining up to date them. Even then, such women are not quick to settle. A man must meet a certain criteria to even merit your phone number. Challenge yourself today. Let go of the anxiety of a life of loneliness and instead work on becoming the best version of yourself.

You can, by educating yourself, furthering your career or even resolving to a healthier lifestyle. Form strong bonds with friends and when the time is right, the perfect man will walk into your life.

@RoxanneKenya

www.facebook.com/RoxanneKe

[email protected]