Ugandans go crazy over festivities; they party, sing, dance and steal things

How do you know that the season to be merry is here? In Kampala you do not need to look for gaudily decorated shops as this is a rarity and is mainly done by corporates and offices.

The crowds milling the shopping malls are not a good indicator as this is also the wedding season and Kampala is generally the shopping hub of Uganda. You cannot take three steps without coming across an apparel shop and they never seem to lack customers. The Chinese make a killing with our dressing culture!

Wedding season means that all attendees will buy a minimum of two outfits because we do not recycle dresses. The first dress is for the wedding, and the second for the evening party. These clothes will probably not survive the second wash as they tend to be made of flimsy fabric with colours that are scared of water, they run at the first sight of detergent.

Wearing the same outfit twice is an indicator of a less than liquid bank account. In this city where you can hire party dresses, I believe some people actually do not own any clothes apart from maybe the t-shirts given out at corporate events. People around here love partying.

This digital age means you cannot wear your favourite cocktail dress to more than one office function so you need a wardrobe with a wall of photos to ensure you do not hire the same dress again or worse, one that a workmate or friend wore to the last bash and rocked it better than you.

The first clue that it is the season of merry making is a sudden awakening of law enforcement. The police are suddenly very strict on traffic offences and every corner seems to have a police check.

Silver platter

This could be because drunk driving is no longer relegated to the wee hours of the night. This festive season, drinking starts after lunch and does not stop until the next liquid lunch.

Those who work for corporate companies have temptations delivered on a silver platter direct to their workstations. The various brewers send forth their sales staff to bombard offices with discounted offers.

Where else can you find wine tasting on work premises during work hours? Where else do you meet cocktail waitresses in tiny little dresses with stiletto heels marketing various spirits?

Finally, we have remixed versions of Christmas carols to which Ugandans dance themselves lame. Everyone and their neighbour is suddenly a musician and has produced a CD. Ugandans like singing, including those with bad voices, who insist on humming this or that song.

Remixed versions of Christmas carols are played in matatus with the conductor helping vend the “originals”, children are also used to sell the same in bars and restaurants in the guise of soliciting for school fees.

This is the time petty crimes tend to be on the upswing as well, the time people steal all kinds of things. Crooks break into homes whose owners they suspect are out partying. Also, this is not the season to come home in a state of intoxication.

You can lose your valuables to the cab guy who will leave with your cash, phone, DVD player, laptop and any other portable electronic device. These are the signs that the merry making season is here. Be safe and move in groups with a designated driver.