A mother’s anger is just what we need in the civil service

Photo: file

With the axe soon falling on non-performing civil servants, it surely cannot be long before the same axe descends on the Cabinet. Our unelected Cabinet has one beautiful thing about it: since they are ostensibly not politicians, they can be fired without ceremony.

Just like that. And when they are fired, the President will need to appoint fresh ones, which is why he, too, needs tips on how to select the best ministers.

First – stick to women.

Female Cabinet ministers tend to shut up and go about their business quietly, without fuss and with no ceremony.

Where the men in their ministries need to be brought down a peg or two, female ministers accomplish it with minimum fuss and maximum embarrassment, guaranteeing that the man will never open his mouth again.

The story is told of a particularly abrasive young male civil servant who foolishly and brashly challenged his minister over some mundane point.

She fired him on the spot! Lesson delivered, swiftly.

SO EFFICIENT

The Ministry of Lands was a cesspit of corruption – until a female minister was appointed to the docket. In days, she had fixed it.

Wags claim the ministry of lands is now so efficient that they even offer wananchi water to drink to quench thirst as they wait to be served. Imagine that.

Second tip for the President – when you fire the underperforming male ministers to hire women, fire their male underlings too.

Men are notorious for running things badly and for insubordination to women. Why risk project delivery by having men report to women? Fire the whole lot.

Insensitive ministries like those with security responsibilities, a mother’s anger and outrage at a child being killed is just what Kenya needs to reign in the gangs of thugs who have made parts of the country ungovernable.

Finally, the President might consider replacing himself with a woman.

After all, having feminised the entire government, why stop there? With women, you can’t lose!