How to get yourself out of that "friendship zone"

Being friend zoned by the object of one's love can be so devastating, more so, emotionally. It feels like being locked up in a cage in the middle of a hot sandy desert. You can't help thinking about them every second of every minute of every hour. You've fantasized a million times how you'd marry them in future, have two pairs of identical twins and live happily-ever-after in a spacious mansion in a high- end estate. But from the look of things, you probably will never live out your fantasy. It's however, not something to worry about because the world has a population of over seven billion people and therefore chances are high that there are many others with whom you are sailing in the same boat.

One of my university lecturers and my good friend has always told me that, every kind of relationship starts with friendship and is sustained by friendship. Be it a romantic, platonic, business or a casual one. And I am starting to think that there is some truth in her assertion.

When that girl or guy who stole your heart says: " Let's be friends." and throws you in the friend zone then they go ahead and give the nod to someone else to date them, the only difference between you and your rival is that he/ she was told 'Yes' and you were told 'No.' Believe you me, even that guy or girl who wins the heart of your potential life partner is in friend zone of some kind, if I may say.

Most probably, you were rejected because they thought that the two of you weren't friends enough. The friendship aspect was overlooked. You might have come in as lover first with an avalanche of emotions and friend second or, maybe, the friendship aspect was missing altogether. This might have made getting along with each other hectic.

Getting along is the main thing in a relationship and it can only be achieved in the presence of friendship. Think of anyone you know (outside your love life) with whom you get along so well. Ranging from your mom to your closest pal to the attendant of the shop or mall where you do your shopping. The shop attendant doesn't give you free goods and services but you keep going back there despite there being so many other shops near you. Why? Aren't you good friends with them? Most probably, you are.  

In every thriving relationship, the partners are friends first then lovers second. Ever wondered why most people in successful relationships or marriages refer to their partners as their 'best friend and lover'? It's because friendship is the foundation of all human relations. It's what keeps them together and keeps a couples' pot of love boiling.

Every one of us wants to date someone with whom we can spend quality time. Someone who can give us good company, and care for us and who we would want to spend the rest of our life with. How would all this be possible without friendship?

Most relationships these days don't last long because, besides miscommunication, people invest too much of emotions and affection and too little or no friendship at all. I think it's the highest time we struck a balance between love and friendship in our relationships and establish a special 'friend zone' for the special ones in our lives. Otherwise we only expose ourselves to the risk of having one more ex-lover!