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After my last week’s piece on fake things that many a woman take us through, some of my boys club added a few. Have you ever looked at a woman and wondered if she is wearing black hand gloves? This is because the complexion of her hands and face are not the same.
The other day, we were at a pub with my pal Brian and a girl walked by, and asked us to look after her drink which she proceeded to put on the counter. As the hand stretched to place the glass on the table, I had to confirm that the bearer of the glass was the same person I was looking at in the face.
It was scary; I thought my whiskey was getting the better of me. Girls, this business of skin lightening will one day consume you. Who said light is beautiful? What happened to the darker the berry, the sweeter the juice? Is black beauty dead and buried? Going by the way many girls are lightening their skins, they could end up spending several hours waiting to vote come next year, only to be denied their constitutional right because the election officials cannot ascertain that the bearer of the identity cards is the same as the one on them.
Booby trap
If ever there was something that should never have been faked, it’s the boobs. Fake anything, fake that twang, fake the walking style, as they say fake it until you make it, moan until the cows come home, but never ever fake those boobs. Psst, breasts are a booby trap of sorts for men. They triggers the turbo in our Subarus. It makes men to start breathing heavily, they start playing it out in advance.
Men are good planners; and they do not multitask. By having some nice firm boobs, still covered up in layers of cloths, you are making the man to plan ahead diligently. He comes up with some form of expectations. He evens does a dry run of how he will handle them. Just imagine that elaborate preparation. And when he hits pay dirt, they unravel like a folded tie!
Another aspect that has kept men guessing are hips. Every time a man looks at them, he must ask himself: “Am I worshiping false things?” This is because; nearly half of the hips being paraded in this town are fake.
How can a woman have a tiny waist and then possess hips that looks that look like they have a mind of their own? It is good to have nice natural hips, but if you insist on injecting yourself with stuff that makes you balloon from behind, you give the suggestion that all your brain cells have been squeezed into one organ. This is not a good thing; because anything you say is thought to be emanating from the wrong end of your anatomy.
