Date bounces leaving viagra-fueled Kisumu man's 'dudu' at full mast for two days

A man survived death by a whisker in Nyamasaria, Kisumu County after he overdosed on male potency tablets. Desperate to prove his prowess to a woman he had met on social media, the 31-year old would-be bedroom bully, surnamed Okeyo, took more than  the required Viagra, only to backfire, leaving him hospitalised with a massive two-day erection.

Having flirted with the unidentified Nairobi-based woman for weeks on Facebook, Okeyo felt it was time to take things to the next level.

The supposedly sly woman accepted his invitation, but there was the small matter of bus fare, which she requested Okeyo to sort out.

In his desperation to satiate his seemingly greedy fascination for the forbidden fruit, Okeyo, who, in his own admission to this writer, was cash-strapped, took a loan from Safaricom’s Mshwari to fund the rendezvous.

“I used part of the money to send her bus fare and restock my kitchen, seeing as she was to spend the weekend at my place. I just wanted to ensure she enjoys her stay at my house,” confessed Okeyo.

Come midday Friday, the day she was to travel, the woman claimed to have made a stopover in Nakuru Town, where she was to have lunch, but was stone broke to afford a meal.

Between the sheets

“Teasing me and promising fireworks between the sheets, she told me she was in Nakuru and was feeling angry, but couldn’t afford a meal. I sent her more cash for lunch and snacks because I didn’t want to put her in a foul mood, “ Okeyo revealed.

With assurance that she was on her way, Okeyo ingested the libido-boosting tablets, on the advice of a friend, with whom he had shared details of the anticipated amorous congress.

“Seeing as we had been talking dirty with her via chats, with her promising me hell of a marathon, a friend warned me that he suspected she was one of those women with humongous libido, and only Viagra was going to save the day,” revealed Okeyo.

After three hours, when Okeyo was expecting her to arrive, she, perhaps conveniently, became unavailable on her phone.

Loins on fire

“She switched off her phone. I tried to call her but all was in vain,” agonised Okeyo. With his loins on fire, a panic-stricken Okeyo began looking for all sorts of solutions in vain.

“I drunk copious amounts of water, hoping it would dilute the effects. I even took a cold shower, but nothing was working,” said Okeyo.

Attempts to go to bed early did not do the trick. Instead, he kept swelling. When he couldn't take it anymore, Okeyo screamed for help. Neighbours came to his rescue, only to find him writhing in bed in pain.

That is how a dizzy and nauseated Okeyo found himself in hospital. Confessing that medics rebuked him for his reckless behaviour that could have turned deadly, Okeyo said most of them couldn’t help but look at the funny side of his predicament.

“Much as the medics were very ethical, I noticed some of the nurses suppress giggles as they exchanged knowing looks,” said Okeyo, who can’t stop cursing the blue pill.