Women, its time to do the math

By Miss Deegee

Let me state for the record that I am not a gold digger or a feminist for that matter — I pay my bills, rent and all those good things.

Having said that, let me now say that men have an analytical mind and so things have to make sense, perfect sense even. Otherwise they are not buying it. That is why they are men. Women on the other hand, are an emotional lot. Don’t get me wrong, we can be rational, but sometimes all a man has to do is shed a tear or make up some irrelevant, illogical story and a woman will promptly forgive the chap for shattering her heart into a million little pieces.

Kept woman

What I’m I saying? Glad you asked. If it doesn’t make sense to a man, he is not doing it. So if he does something, believe you me it makes sense, to him.

Let me amplify. A group of women are sitting on fancy couches in a snazzy bar — the kind that plays that pretentious Afro-fusion music mess. They are discussing one of their girlfriend’s latest coups. They are caught up in a frenzy of high-fives, laughter and clinking champagne glasses in recognition of a job well done.

Like the clear golden liquid in the expensive flutes, they bubble over in mirth. You see Sara has managed to snag herself a very, very rich married man with a wife and two children. Sara and Mr Rich have been dating for about six months and two months ago he took their relationship to the next level (wherever that is). He rented a two-bedroom apartment in the leafy suburb of Kileleshwa with no qualms paying her rent and certainly no problem footing her bills. There is more clinking of glasses, more mirth but from where I was sitting, a remarkably raw deal.

Me: how much is your rent? And bills?....total I mean?

Sara: 40K and ten for the bills. 50k total.

Me: Let me ask you, when you two had just met, where did he wine you and dine and rock your world till the wee hours of the morning?

Sara: Ummm we either spent the night at Serena or The Hilton or the…

Me: Right, and how many times does he come by his, I mean your, house?

Sara: ummm I don’t know, four maybe five times a week….

And I shook my head. The table was quiet and all eyes were on me. Eyebrows raised questioningly at me as I reclined, not wanting to be the party pooper. But in the silent seconds that ensued, my mind moved faster than a CPU as I did the mathematics.

Get smarter

So he visits her five times a week, four weeks a month. That is 20 days. If he was to take her for dinner and a book a room at the Serena or Hilton or whatever fancy lodging they decide to do the do in, it would cost Mr Rich approximately Sh10,000 per night. Now multiply that by 20 days and you get Sh200,000 per month. As opposed to the Sh50,000 he pays for her rent and bills, which is a whooping Sh150,000 difference. Who’s smarter now?

Sara leaned back on her chair, her face a vision of sadness. It is quite possible that I had rained on her parade and perhaps it wasn’t fair of me. But I do get mildly irritated when a truly dense person is convinced they are smart because this tells me that their reality is skewed.

Not that Sara’s is, but really she could stop harping on about her brilliance already. It only makes sense for Mr Rich to stash her in an affordable apartment where he has maximum access to her at minimum cost.

I am not saying that you kept women need to start demanding title deeds in your own names (although you must admit that this would be a smarter move). Nor am I saying that you ask for a BMW instead of a Vitz.

All I am saying is that rudimentary logic is not enough and women need to take a step back and cease being completely ruled by emotions to a point where we cannot see the obvious. We need to be a tad more pragmatic, like Asian women.