Pain of losing Charles, my younger brother

It was 2.50a.m. on Thursday July 23, 2015 when the call came from my little sister Lucy, that I needed to speak to my sister-in-law. My sister-in-law informed me that my brother Charles Lwanga Lubano had been involved in an accident and she had been summoned to Kabete Police Station but the policemen were not telling her exactly where he was or his status.

So I asked to speak to the policeman directly.

After I told the officer that I was a doctor and the man involved in the accident was my brother, he told me my brother had died.

Those were the coldest words ever.

But I had to be strong so I asked him to put my sister-in-law back on line and told her that I was going to find out from KNH any news about her husband, my brother.

Unexpected death is universally heartbreaking.

The news hit me like a bullet right through my heart. I woke up, dressed and prepared to make my way to the scene. This narrative reveals the emotional reality of us doctors — and a side of physicians that people don't usually see — while uniting us all in our common humanity.

As a doctor over the last 20 years, I am well acquainted with loss and grief. Losing a family member can be a highly-charged and traumatic time. Coping with loss is a deeply personal experience. Nothing ever prepares you to imagine you can handle it any different.

Coping with the loss of a family member brings up almost every emotion imaginable. There are times you may feel as if you are 'going crazy'. It is natural to feel this way, as it is normal to experience a number of different feelings.

Author Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, in her book On Death and Dying, outlines five stages of grief. Each stage is unique and is not necessarily experienced in that order. Stages may also be revisited. These stages are: Denial; anger; bargaining; depression and acceptance as the final stage of bereavement and grief. So this has been my experience during the historic Obama visit.

Rest in eternal peace and rise in glory my brother Charles till we meet again.