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How it was like being a Kenyan in 2019
By Daniel Many | Updated Dec 26, 2019 at 12:33 EAT
how-it-was-like-being-a-kenyan-in-2019
Eliud Kipchoge celebrates after winning the INEOS
SUMMARY

August, your government rolls out the 6th Census exercise. The exercise costed tax payers Kshs 18.5Billion.

The results, announced in early November, pegged the Total population at 47,564,296, with 23.5 Million males and 24.01Million females.

January 15th and 16th, 21 of your fellows, among them foreign nationals, are killed in a terrorist attack at DusitD2 Complex at Riverside drive, Nairobi. Al-Shabaab claimed the attack.

In May, your government rolls out a Sh 6 Billion huduma number registration exercise. You and your fellow citizens are still waiting for that number. A scam maybe?

Still in May, EACC arrests 6 officials of Communication Authority of Kenya (CAK) over procurement irregularities. Sigh.

June 1st, Madaraka Day. Your government introduces new currency banknotes. And gives ultimatum for the deadline of using the old Sh 1,000 banknotes.

July 1st, Safaricom CEO Bob Collymore dies of Cancer. July 26th, Kibra MP Ken Okoth dies of cancer aged 41. Still in July, Bomet Governor Joyce Laboso dies of cancer aged 58.

Still in July, Dams scandal sees the ejection of Cabinet Secretary for Finance Henry Rotich from his office. Your fellow tax payers lose a whooping Sh 21Billion (some say Sh 19 Billion) meant for construction of two dams, Aror and Kimwarer, in Elgeyo Marakwet County. Included in the Sh 21/19 Billion are the Sh 8Million for cutlery and Sh 22 Million for towels. 

August, your government rolls out the 6th Census exercise. The exercise costed tax payers Sh 18.5Billion. The results, announced in early November, pegged the Total population at 47,564,296, with 23.5 Million males and 24.01Million females.

September. A primary school in Dagoretti, Nairobi, collapses and kills 7 pupils. The CS for Education went on a rampage afterwards, closing down more schools whose structures were suddenly found to be unstable. You Wonder why always a reactive rather than proactive approach to issues like these. But then again your CS for Education has a mean looking face and he seems to know what he is doing so you keep your cool.

Also in September, a mother and her daughter drowned in a Mombasa ferry mishap. The bodies took too long to be retrieved from the bottom of the ocean. 

October 12th your fellow Citizen, Long-distance marathon runner, Eliud Kipchoge, wows the World by becoming the first human to run a 26.2-Mile Marathon in under 2 hours. Dubbed, INEOS 1:59 challenge, the event, held in Vienna, got the World glued to their TV screens.

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November, your President and your, wait a minute, what's the title again? Leader of opposition? Hon Raila Odinga, launches the much awaited Building Bridges Initiative, BBI Report at Bomas of Kenya. Also in November, a Landslide kills 29 of your fellow citizens in West Pokot.

December. A governor of your Capital City is arrested in Voi. Flown to Nairobi. Arraigned in Court for the following charges; unlawful acquisition of public property, money laundering, misappropriation of County funds, forging documents and irregularly awarding tenders. The court bars him from accessing his office. He doesn't have a deputy governor.

Still in December, 8 of your fellow citizens are killed in a Wajir bound bus by suspected Al-Shabaab militants.

Another governor of the neighbouring County is impeached on almost similar charges. 

Still in December, a spoken word artist popularly known as King Kaka releases a trending video titled "Wajinga Nyinyi." 

Too much for being a Kenyan in 2019.

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