Triumph over double childhood tragedies

When a child is born, the parents and the society expect it will have the best life. However, as fate would have it, things don’t always work out as expected. Here is my story.

At 4 years of age, I joined what I call the 5 percent double tragedy club. I joined 5 percent of other unlucky kids who experience early parental loss when I lost my beloved dad.

That year, I become of age for an ADHD diagnosis and I officially started my long 30-year journey with undiagnosed ADHD.

I was unlucky because the negative impacts of early parental loss are numerous and may include complicated bereavement, negative effects on attachment including the ability to form and maintain healthy relationships, and disruption of the family system, and adversely affect adult development.

According to Psychologist Ari Tuckman, doing badly in school, having social struggles, greater substance use, less likely to attend and then graduate college are some of the negative impacts of ADHD.

Growing up, I had my fair share of challenges arising from the double tragedy. The loss of my dad subjected me to ‘single motherhood’ motivated stigma and discrimination, which affected me negatively and made me bitter with the society.

Similarly, growing up with undiagnosed inattentive ADHD meant I had problems concentrating in class. Moreover, the social challenges of ADHD and some of its psychological impacts were the most significant.

However, unlike most people who allow their adversity to define their destiny, I refused to allow my double tragedy shape my future. Actually, I used my adversity as my ladder to success.

My bitterness never drove me to hate but inspired me to start a charity that has today touched the lives of 5400 people going through various social and psychological challenges.

I didn’t drop out of school but went ahead to get to Masters, and five prestigious global Awards and Fellowships. Last December, I was invited as a speaker in a UN body Board meeting in Geneva as a recognition of my work as a change maker.

Through my efforts, thousands of Kenyans have received free psychotherapy, free psychiatric diagnosis and treatment, and the much-needed social support for those in recovery or those rejected or ostracized by the society or their families.

I am also an outspoken mental health advocate who doesn’t shy away from talking about my own condition to help enlighten the society about the need to create safe spaces for people going through psychological challenges.

Whatever your tragedy is: single, double, triple or more, use it to make this world a more beautiful place to live.

Today, I live a happy and fulfilling life because I live by Bob Marley’s words, “Don’t gain the world and lose your soul. Wisdom is better than gold and silver” Do you?