Top 30 hilarious lies Kenyan men tell their ‘mpango wa kandos’

When it comes to lying to a woman, Kenyan men top the list.

They will tell a woman what they want to hear just to be with them or get into their pants.

Some even go to the extent and lie that their spouses died to get pity from the women.

However, side chicks always find a reason to stay even if the man lies a tonne. 

Here are some of the top 30 lies men tell their side chics;

“Nilienda job far nikapata dame yangu akiwa na ball ya mtu mwingine…”

 “Sinanga haja na wanawake…”

“Tulibreak up nayeye...na ata sio mrembo ka wewe…”

“Niko na dame but huwa ananitext tu end month…”

 “Niko na dame but its long distance relationship…”

“Yeye ndo hunifuata, Mimi sina haja na yeye…”

“Ako na ball na ni ya chali mwingine…”

“I don’t have much time for my ex...Because you are the only one. I chat with you more than her…”

“Nimekupenda naturally…”

“Niko na dame but simpendi, yeye hujiforce kwangu…”

“Hakuangi serious…”

“Tulikosana na wife…”

“Hyo profile picture ni ya ex wangu. She is married but sitaki kusumbuliwa na wasichana ndo manake naitumia…”

“Sipendi wife yangu... Natafuta njia ya kumrusha nje...”

“You make me feel complete…”

“Sijawawi katia dame kabila yako we ndio wa kwanza”

“Alienda majuu akaanza maringo so am like I should move on…”

“Huyo ni step sister wangu…”

“Ningekupata wa kwanza ningekuoa…”

“Divorce iko kwa process. Huyu dame nililazimishwa…”

“Ningekupata before I could have married you aki…”

“You always accuse me of grooving with her yet my heart belongs to you…”

“Ex ako far in another county…”

“Dame yangu alienda majuu na familia yao….”

“Hatuko in good terms na wife…”

“We’ve taken a break…”

“I’m done with her you are the woman I love…”

“We dont talk…”

“She’s just a workmate…”

It’s a long story

“Relationshop yetu ni complicated…”

“I’m recovering from heartbreak…”

“Sioni future na yeye…”

“Sinanga side chick…”

“Nililipia dame yangu school fees ya huko Australia alafu akarudi na mimba ya mzungu…”

“Didn't want to marry her circumstances forced me.”

“Yeye ndiye ananitakanga namimi simtaki…”

“Huyo tuna saidiananga tu hakuna mahali tutaenda nayeye…”

“Tulikosana last week…”

 

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