- As you work hard for your family, don't forget to make time for that family
- If you and your spouse/partner are constantly in a hurry, you will never have a deep connection
Intimacy is not just about sex. Intimacy is the deep connection between two people that are in love. The following are some of the things that hinder intimacy between you and your spouse/partner;
1. "Over dependency on sex"
When your time alone together largely focuses on sex, then you might miss out on the richness of love. Sex can distract. Stop looking at your spouse/partner as a source of pleasure but as a spirit to connect with. Lay naked and cuddle, hug, have pillow talks. It's not always about sex.
2. "No allocation of quality time"
Intimacy can never be rushed. If you and your spouse/partner are constantly in a hurry, you will never have a deep connection. You need time to open up and be vulnerable. There are things you two will never share if you don't give each other ample time.
This can lead to a warped view of adult time. It can cloud your head with images and memories of nude strangers until the adult time between you two gets corrupted. Keep your spirit pure.
Children are a gift from God but sometimes you have to keep them at a distance. Find a way to occupy your child/children or even on occasions, let your child/children go for a sleep over to a neighbor's or your parent's place so that you two can be left alone.
As you work hard for your family, don't forget to make time for that family. Set boundaries. Don't go with work at home. Have hours where it's just for you and your spouse.
When you are having an affair or flirting with others, it distracts you from being purely and wholly intimate with your spouse/partner.
When your spouse/partner suspects you of cheating whether you are cheating or not, he/she will hold back and intimacy will be disrupted. This is why you should not only stay faithful, but also make sure you do not do anything that might make your spouse/partner think that you are cheating.
Fear of how one will be received when they open up and be vulnerable keeps many from engaging at a deeper level of intimacy. This is why it is important to make your spouse/partner feel safe so that you two can be real with each other. And when your spouse does trust you with personal issues, offer security even more by loving them with the good and bad that you know about him/her.
© Dayan Masinde
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