A mature woman is a mentor

Are you grown only in age or also in wisdom, emotional strength and love?

Do you find that you only pray for yourself and your family or do you also pray for others?

When you talk, do you talk as a broken woman, from the point of pain or do you talk like an objective woman who can be strength to someone?

Do you know that a hurting and defeated woman cannot bless others? All she does is see herself as a victim, she locks herself up and cries, she has no time to be there for anyone, even her children because she is focusing on her personal issues. You cannot be a blessing as you complain. You cannot lift another if you stay down. And the less you bless others, the less you will be blessed.

Take a look at any woman who has done or is doing great things, they all have a story to tell. They all fought a battle, stood, and now they are helping others stand. I look at Akello and how much she has been through and I admire how she turned her darkest moments to give birth to the light that she now is to others.

Lady, have you or are you going through tough times? Remember you are a tough woman, you can conquer, and when you conquer, help others, especially women to be conquerors too.

Women are nurturing by nature. They take something and add goodness to it, they bring fruition of something better. Until you are able to stand, you will not have the authority to nurture, whether it is nurturing a child, your husband, a friend, a stranger or the community. So much depends on you standing so lady, get up! The society is a better place when women stand up to play their role. You've been down for too long.

Have you mentored anyone? Are you even role model material? Can young girls look up to you? Can your daughter hang your picture on the wall and say "I want to grow up to be like mommy?"

Or are you the selfish type? It's always about you. It's about what you can get or what you haven't got? You are mean, dark and care for no one?

Have you ever helped someone out of love and not paraded it in the public? Have you ever offered a shoulder to lean on? When was the last time someone went to bed smiling because of you? When was the last time a fellow lady told you "I admire you"?

Or are you waiting for things to get perfect for you to start being a blessing? BREAKING NEWS: Life on earth will never be perfect. The way to change your life for the better is to be a blessing to someone. This world has a way of elevating and blessing anyone who offers solutions and touches lives.

If you feel you're life is stuck as a woman then ask yourself if indeed you are being a blessing to anyone. Even if you have poor health, be a blessing. Even if your marriage is not going well, be a blessing. Even if you have no finances, be a blessing. Even if you don't know what to do about your issues, be a blessing. As you do this, you will grow; doors will open.

I remember many years ago, a lady joined our church congregation in dire need. She had studied, had a Degree but had been looking for a job in vain for years. She came to church saying she just wants to serve in any way. As she humbly went about serving and touching lives, suddenly she had job offers from three big companies. She was the one to choose where to work. Your blessing and breakthrough will be triggered when you bless others.

When you step into a place, are you helpful? Do people value your presence as a lady? When you walk in, do your children, friends, people feel safe with a feeling of all will go when now that you have shown up; or are you easy to forget, lost in the crowd? Are you an asset wherever you go?

Do you inspire hope? When young ladies come to you, do you give them good counsel or do you speak fear and confusion into them?

There are some older women who are the worst people to go to for advice. They only speak from a point of negativity because things didn't go so well for them. When a young lady comes to them for advice about marriage, they make the young lady feel marriage is all about doom and gloom because their own married life was ruined. When a young lady comes to them for advice on life issues and dreams, they pour cold water on the young lady's hopes just because their own life didn't turn out great.

Some women because they are putting up with crap, they want other women to put up with crap. They are OK with being broken, abused, beaten down; and so they encourage younger women to also stay in environments where they are broken, abused and beaten down. That's how slavery on blacks was encouraged by fellow black women, that's how domestic violence against women is made normal by some women, that's why practices that demean women like Female Genital Mutilation are actually performed by older women. Some women are actually gatekeepers of the oppression of women.

Stop being a dark hole. Nurture people. Stop speaking from a place of pain and anger lest you plant negativity in great minds.

The best women to give advice are the ones who have healed. They will be objective. They will not use their personal life as the ultimate reference point. They will share lessons learnt from their life experiences and inspire hope. They are the best mentors in business, career, marriage life, love life and ministry.

Lady, you know you have healed when you can talk about your past pain as if in third person with no emotional drain. You stand and tell other ladies, "I was there where you are and I made it out, you will too"

The Bible admonishes older women to teach younger women how to live. Grown lady, mentor the young. Take girls into your fold and walk with them. Cover them, tell them of your testimonies and lessons, let them climb on your shoulders so that they go further than you.

Come out of your cocoon; mentor a young woman to be a better version of herself.

May younger women benefit from your healed wounds.