Every morning, especially during week days, marital woes and frustration are meted out in most popular radio shows. Women (mostly) complain about how their men are cheating on them at the slightest opportunity. The randomness of these affairs fits them in the category of dogs. The calls to these radio stations seem cheerful and the presenters satirically give consolation before proceeding to laugh at certain descriptions given by the â€˜hurtâ€™ women. They also express their shock at how some women are not even considering separating from such lecherous men. In fact some have accepted these men as they are.
Polygamy has been part of many African communities for centuries. Some religions have also had to confront and explain why polygamy is wrong given that most characters in their scripture were polygamous. Most of our grandfathers have more than one wife. Some women are second or third wives and are proud, so that they have even made peace with their co-wives to â€œshareâ€ their husband as equitably as they can.
Even during dating, women have impending fear that is it only a matter of when they will find their boyfriends cheating, and not if. They will guard or even shun their girlfriends from the fear of them falling prey for charm of their men.
So, what is this syndrome that has made men both great and small to continue thriving in spite of their seemingly incorrigible behavior? What is it that makes them survive a thousand adventures of stolen waters and come home to open, though hypocritical, arms? What emboldens them to live irresponsibly without thinking about the consequences of their ways? Could it be women and their needs? Men have through generations poised themselves as providers, protectors and powerful. In their homes they expected total submission and respect. They expect words that could only fan their ego and reverence their effective sufficiency.
Men are not burdened mostly by many domestic issues. Women, especially housewives, live in impending fear, that the worse turn of events could usher them into the frustrations of substandard living and alienate them from their children. They will turn a blind eye numerous affairs their husbands have to keep the children and the lifestyle (which some husbands are willing and able to provide). They will frustrate potential second wives with all they have got to ensure that her childrenâ€™s future is preserved.
Â Then there is the question of honor. Some mothers encourage their daughters to just hold on and hope thing will turn out better in the long run. â€œEven your father was like thatâ€; they console.
The ironical turn of events is when men start blaming their wives for their adultery. There is usually some shift of attention from husbands to children as soon as the fast bundle of joy arrives. Women who used to wait up for them are now so absorbed with taking care of their children that they just point from the fridge to microwave or cooker. The eveningâ€™s men used to look forward to lose their allure and become shuddered by night baby cries and interruptions. They start eating out and slipping into bed at 2 am. Then their eyes start looking for distractions and easily fall for a female colleague or friend who clobbers them with attention and love.
There is also the prowess and unmatched romantic overtures that make some men irresistibly exceptional. Any woman who is â€˜luckyâ€™ to have such a man will hold onto them at any expense while unsuccessfully swatting competition. These men will settle in marriage just to earn some â€˜respectâ€™ and still continue his escapades undeterred knowing that his woman is unlikely to find his kind. Unless his extra-marital affairs affect his love-making, a woman will just sit pretty and enjoy, even encouraging him to protect himself for her sake; which sometimes goes unheeded. So, men continue thriving living up to societal expectation and chivalry.Â
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