Battling addiction

Alcohol, drug and substance abuse was largely associated with boys and men, but today girls and women have been caught up in this downward spiral, causing anguish to their loved ones, writes NJOKI CHEGEAlcohol and drug abuse is a major problem in Kenya today. Unfortunately, most of those affected are young people while the pushers of alcohol, drugs and other harmful substances are wealthy individuals and corporations whose main driving force is profit, with complete disregard to the wellbeing of the users.According to the National Campaign Against Drug Abuse Authority (Nacada), the most commonly abused drugs in Kenya are alcohol, tobacco, bhang (marijuana), glue, miraa (khat) and psychotropic drugs.With alcohol and substance abuse comes wanton behaviour that includes neglect of self, violence, crime and sexual promiscuity that leads to an upsurge of sexually transmitted infections including HIV and Aids. The availability of the harmful commodities coupled with negative peer pressure makes it difficult to curb the problem. In many cases, parents and guardians lack the skills to intervene.To better understand the destructive nature of alcohol and substance abuse, Eve Woman talked to a few people and brings you their story.Anne Mathu, 47 years, recovered alcoholicIt all began with a sip of the traditional muratina beer from my father’s glass when I was only ten years old. Being a daddy’s girl, we had a unique relationship and my fondest memories date back to when I would accompany him to Blue Post Hotel in Thika for outings. He then allowed me to take a few sips of his beer and soon I graduated to one glass. Before I knew it, I could take two glasses of beer without getting drunk at all while in primary school. I also began smoking while still in primary school. Again, it was my father who introduced me to smoking, as he would request me to light his cigarettes. I would have a puff or two before handing it to him. Sadly, in 1977, my father passed on in a road accident on his way home from a bar at night. I had just joined Bishop Gatimu Ngandu Girls and I was broken by his death. I wanted to keep his spirit alive in me so I took to drinking and smoking without a care in the world. Not surprisingly, I failed my ‘O’ levels in 1981 and joined Kenya Polytechnic for a Diploma in Institute Management, Catering and Housekeeping. A year later, I got into modelling and enrolled for the Miss Kenya beauty contest where I emerged the first runner-up. With the money being thrown my way from sponsors, plus complementary tickets to big hotels, life because easy… and the alcohol flowed easily. My drinking got worse and I had little time for my college education. I missed classes on Mondays and Fridays because of the nightlife and hangovers, and I eventually failed to get my diploma. Shortly afterwards, I began working but my alcoholism affected my job so badly that I got sacked and lost almost everything I owned. Yet I did not see that I had a problem. An addict is usually the last person to accept they have a problem, so whenever people suggested I was alcoholic, I turned abusive and violent. Even after losing two husbands to alcohol related health complications, I did not seem to understand the fatality of alcohol.Jobless and with no money, I turned to cheap drinks. My mother took away my three children because I couldn’t take care of them. Eventually, I sold all my household goods to sustain my drinking habits. I even sold my gas cylinder, which was full of gas, for only Sh300 just to buy cheap liquor! I moved to an iron sheet single room in Makongeni estate in Thika and fully devoted my life to taking changaa. This was made easy by the fact that my house was just across the road from the changaa den. All along, I was in the company of my younger brother Nicholas, who was also an alcohol addict. I tried to commit suicide twice due to frustration and hopelessness but failed. After that I finally sought help from a friend, who in turn took me to Asumbi Treatment Centre in western Kenya. This was in April 2006. I went through a three-month spiritual programme following the 12 steps of recovery. It has now been five and half years since I tasted beer and I know I will not go back. I try to avoid the triggers such as anger and stress, and I take one day at a time.Today I work at Bridge Centre in Ridgeways, Nairobi, as an outreach coordinator, and also at Prudent Communications as an alcohol and drug abuse consultant. I reach out to drug addicts, give talks in schools, churches and companies on drug abuse prevention and management. I would like people to know that addiction is a disease that is chronic, primary, progressive and fatal if left untreated. Addicts need help, and close family members need family counselling to know how to cope with the addict.My greatest pillar has been my mother, Beatrice Mathu, who has been there for me all through. I have also had mentors such as Cosmas Kathungu who has been like a father to me and I am grateful for his overwhelming support.A mother’s story Beatrice MathuIt was very difficult to watch my daughter battle with alcohol and I could barely watch her life fall apart. However, after serious prayer and treatment, Anne is back on her feet and I am so proud of her. I would advise parents of children with addiction problems to take them for treatment and rehabilitation while they continue to pray for them. I have learnt a lot about addiction from my children and also by attending family therapy when they were in the rehab. These sessions are very important for those parents whose children are undergoing treatment: Do not take them for granted.A daughter’s story Valentine Muthoni The greatest gift I have is to have my mother back — sober, caring and loving. She is more than a mother to me because she is also my best friend. Unlike before, we now have a loving relationship and spend quality time with one another.Denis ‘DNA’ Kaggia 29 years, former alcoholic`One day, when I was in Class Eight, I went to a bar and bought myself my first drink. This soon developed into a habit and I continued drinking all through high school. I had a very good childhood. My parents were staunch Christians who loved and supported me throughout, but I must say it is peer pressure that led me to alcoholism, as I was desperate to fit in with my friends. I did not want to be left out in their escapades so I joined the bandwagon. Another reason I may have slipped into alcoholism was because I grew up listening to the wrong kind of music and emulating the wrong role models — musicians who passed on the message of ‘getting high’. I did not perform satisfactorily in high school so I enrolled for a pre-university programme and later university to study Computer Science. In the first year of university, I was derailed and got into bad company, with whom we would spend several days in drinking escapades and blacking out in bars. At this point, I knew something was wrong, but my friends’ perception of me mattered more.I eventually quit campus in 2005 to pursue music. It was hard at first, but I finally made it when my song Banjuka became a hit. I had many shows and money was no longer a problem, so alcohol was readily available and I indulged in it totally. I would drink for several consecutive days, as I waited for the weekends to perform. Soon, I began experiencing withdrawal symptoms. I would wake up shaking all over and had to quell this with a bottle of vodka.My parents prayed hard for me, but the situation seemed to only get worse. I got involved in several car accidents as a result of drunk driving. Then I developed health problems, mainly ulcers, alcohol poisoning and liver problems. My addiction got to a point where it affected my music. I would cancel shows at the last minute or give sub-standard performances due to my frail health. This got me in bad books with my promoters, as I became unreliable and a liar. I wasted a lot of money on liquor, particularly because I would stay without eating for days. Alarmed by my condition, my parents insisted I see a doctor who gave me medicine to help stop the alcoholism and boost my liver, but I held on to the bottle. There were times when I made the decision not to drink, but it would only last a few days before I would revert. This was no longer a physical battle but a spiritual warfare and I had to win. When I realised I was losing the battle with alcohol, I went back to my parent’s house. Then on April 20, 2009, I had a serious discussion with my mother. I told her I wanted to die because I was tired of this life. Then she told me if that was really what I wanted, then I could as well die. I went to my room and prayed earnestly. I asked God to deliver me from the claws of alcoholism and promised that if He did, I would stay faithful to Him and never take alcohol again. That day, I gave my life to Christ and that is how I got delivered. Unbelievably, I stayed for several days without taking beer, I found myself eating normally and I have never had a taste of beer ever since. Christ took me and turned me over. My drinking habits are now gone, my old life is gone and now I am a new person in Christ. Thanks to God, I was delivered from drinking and I am now charged with the duty of helping others out of alcoholism.Today, I have an initiative known as ‘Young Fresh Kenya’, which I formed two years ago following my personal experience with alcohol and drug abuse. I have also learned more on the matter through various trainings from Nacada, and I have traversed Kenya to preach the message of hope to young people who may be addicts. Young Fresh Kenya has worked extensively with learning institutions to empower the youth make the right choices in life and avoid the path to destruction. We also engage addicts in recovery at U-Turn for Christ Rehabilitation Centre. Our message is that Christ will empower them to stay clean after rehab. The tag line ‘life ya maana, fun ya ukweli’ is definitive of our key goal, which is to promote wholesome living among the youth.A mother’s story Margaret Kaggia Denis was a good child who could never hurt a fly, and that is why I got frustrated when he became an alcoholic. My husband and I are staunch Christians and we wanted to bring up our children in the Godly way. When Denis’ alcoholism got really bad, I often insisted that my husband and I give him surprise visits without caring what we would find at his place. When we got there, we would hold hands with him and pray for God’s deliverance. We cried out to God to have mercy on our son, who could not fight this battle alone. One day, when he moved back home, Denis told me he wanted to die. I challenged him to go ahead and die if that was what he really wanted. When I left his room, I was very angry and I shamed the devil, telling him he would not succeed in taking my son away from me. Half an hour later, Denis told me he had accepted Christ into his life, something I first thought was not true. As it turns out, Denis is transformed.

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