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VAS

Old is gold and white hair is silver

STUDIES
By | April 5th 2010

By By Edwin Makiche

In the cowboy movies, a bevy of blondes is often featured massaging a potbellied, moneyed man smoking a fat cigar.

The movies reflect the real world, where old is gold for many a young woman.

Gone are the days of Romeo and Juliet, when romance ruled and two lovebirds determined to tie the knot couldn’t be separated even by the decision of their parents or the disability of one partner.

For many young educated women today, a man’s age and size of his wallet determine his attractiveness.

Visit prestigious bars around the country and it is common to see young women dancing to jazz with men the age of their fathers. Why would a youthful, warm-blooded woman hang out with a married old timer when dashing young men are all over the place?

Juana, a 23-year-old fourth year student at a local university, claims to have good reasons for preferring older men. Stating proudly that she dates a man in his 50s, she says she has never been happier than since they met.

Dump ‘learners’

Before she met her current beau, she had been through four disastrous relationships with young men and therefore knows the value of white hair. Young men simply don’t know how to treat women, she says. They are just after cheap sex and leave a girl feeling used. She cites an incident when a boyfriend plied her with cheap spirits and then took her to bed before she could regain consciousness.

"Young men think we are nothing but sex objects," she says.

"How would you know that someone loves you if all he does is text you or buy you a cheap cake and then demand sex? Real men don’t treat their women like objects."

So what makes her current man tick? Juana considers him a perfect partner who knows her needs and satisfies them. He respects her time and doesn’t force her to do anything she doesn’t like.

He is a married man and therefore she doesn’t feel so attached she cannot do her own things. And contrary to what many think of oldies, her man is a wizard in bed and knows his way around.

She advises other young women to dump ‘learners’ and go for experience. Sharing a sentiment close to hers is Eliza, 27, an accountant with a city firm who dates her 60-year-old boss. To her, what a woman needs is a man who can meet her needs and value her as a human being. Her old guy score highly in this regard.

She dismisses young men as paupers who are after a woman’s purse. Unlike youngsters, the elderly are spenders who don’t always expect a quid pro quo. They are also good at keeping secrets.

"Leave the hustlers alone," she counsels.

"The fellow buys you a mere lunch and immediately demands value for his money. When he takes you to bed you come out sweating like a pig and that’s the end of the story.

"If you say no to his advances he climbs on the rooftop to shout that you are a gold-digger. "The old timer will buy you even a plot and not share the story with his closest friend.’’

She praises her boss boyfriend for buying her a house in the city in addition to promoting her at work. Had she been dating someone her own age she would probably be nothing more than a housewife nursing babies for an arrogant drunken man.

Government official

Instead she looks forward to opening her own business, a venture he has committed himself to bankroll. But what about a happily married life? Why not be in a normal relationship instead of dating a man who is already taken and who is in his sunset days? Emmy, a divorcee, says there is nothing like a normal relationship these days. One can date anybody so long as he can put food on the table and take care of you.

She suggests the wedding oath be changed from ‘till death us do part’ to ‘till money us do part’.

She is wary about dating young men lest they break her heart. It amazes her how a loving ‘Charlie’ turns into a beast once you marry.

Emmy has seen her friends reduced to desperate housewives by their once-upon-a-time sweethearts. "It is much better to live with an old man who will die tomorrow but leave you rich, than live forever with a leech who always leave you with headaches,’ she opines.

That’s why she will probably never remarry. Visiting her palatial home on the outskirts of Nakuru town, one can’t believe a 31-year-old could be living in such luxury.

She also runs a lucrative salon business in the town. How did she achieve all this? She says one needs to use their brains to progress in life.

At the age of 20 she got married to her first boyfriend who battered her however much she tried to please him. She booted him after five years and joined a beauty college in Nakuru. That’s where she met Samuel, a 45-year-old Government official.

Never contributes

After dating for a year he helped her start a business. Though they eventually parted ways, she will be forever grateful to him. Her ex-husband is now green with envy but she will never have him back.

Maggie describes old timers as experienced people who know that women are delicate and need to be treated with care.

Though she is in a relationship with a fellow college mate, she is willing to get out if a willing old timer approaches her. She is fed up with her boyfriend’s odd behaviour.

He is so obsessive that he wants to be with her around the clock. Though he knows that she is a student like him, he keeps frequenting her room during meal times but never contributes. Sometimes he drinks so much that he ends up vomiting on her carpet. She wouldn’t have to undergo such trauma if she was dating an older man. Instead she would be treated to outings to the coast in a sleek car. Chemu, another student, says she just hates some young men’s silly dreams and ambitions. Someone will promise you the good life yet he can’t even afford to maintain himself.

His money, if he has any, is always committed and you seldom get to enjoy it. She refuses to be deceived by a man that things will improve once they get married. She needs evidence before getting committed.

Share wealth

If he promises a car, she wants him to buy it before she commits. True love is only to found in soap operas, she believes.

Chemu says rich older men have already achieved in life and are ready to spend on a girl. According to her, the fact that someone is old and rich means he is responsible.

"Why let a broke man kill you with alcohol when someone else can treat you like a queen and share his wealth with you?’’ she asks.

Joyce, 24, says that the young men should just admit that old guys are smarter. When it comes to seducing they know what to say and how to say it, not just texting.

When it comes to money they are tops, in lovemaking they are experienced and even on the dance floor they don’t trample all over their partners’ toes as some young men do.

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