Bunge Chronicles: Why Olekina in shuka does not amuse wahesh

Narok Senator Ledama Ole Kina during the Nairobi Governor Mike Sonko's impeachment debate at the Senate-Assembly at the parliament buildings, Nairobi.[Elvis Ogina,Standard]

We all know how Ledama Olekina looks suited up. We have seen him cover his particulars with a Maasai shuka, though it is unclear whether that is all he puts on whenever he wakes up on the traditional side of his bed.

He would look good in anything, the Narok senator bragged to his colleagues on Thursday. He looks best in nothing, Ledama swore, grinning coyly. That was his naked truth to a fellow mhesh who bothered to do the job wahesh do best – comment on a colleague’s dressing.

Majority Leader Samuel Poghisio had been minding his business when he noticed his Narok counterpart in a suit and tie. The sighting gave the West Pokot senator goosebumps, and he could not wait to share his joy.

“Let me congratulate Senator Olekina. I’ve seen him today dressed like a senator,” Poghisio said, subtly beaming with delight. As expected, Ledama rose in protest and accused his colleague of jealousy.

“Even naked, I look good,” Ledama countered. Poghisio’s predecessor, Kipchumba Murkomen, did not fancy the thought of Ledama in his birthday suit. No sooner had the Narok senator switched off the dispatch microphone than Murkomen took to his feet.

“His dress looks like women’s clothes. In many cases, we have had to warn him to sit properly. Today we will not struggle to ensure that Senator Olekina sits properly,” he said.

More senators piled in, each picking the debate from where the previous senator had left. Murkomen got the most flak for his remarks. Comparing Ledama’s dressing to a woman’s, Wajir’s Abdullahi Ali raged, was an affront to women. Murkomen needed to apologise!

“He has no respect for our women! That is disregarding our mothers, sisters and WIVES (he switched his tone to capital letters),” Ali fumed. Two women senators echoed the Wajir senator’s thoughts.

“Dressing like a lady is the best thing,” Murkomen retreated, clarifying that Ledama’s manner of sitting when in his traditional attire made him feel weird. Ledama did not relent. As any traditionalist would, the first-term senator suggested that his colleague’s mentality was clouded by colonial tendencies.

When he finally got the chance to speak again, Poghisio would claim that he harboured the best intentions and was more eager than anyone else to change the subject. All the while, two benchmarking delegations – staffers from the County Assembly of Machakos and another from the Malawian Parliamentary Service Commission – watched from the public gallery.

Earlier, senators had welcomed both delegations, promising to teach them best parliamentary practices. That day's debate must have challenged the visitors to think beyond what taxpayers were paying them for. Every once in a while, they could debate a colleague’s nudity in their respective chambers.