Are you really happy?

James Gitau

It has been said that happiness is our natural state. But happiness seems elusive, just like its definition.

What is happiness? One description that has been widely accepted is by Martin Seligman, a leading researcher in positive psychology and author of Authentic Happiness. Seligman describes happiness as having three parts: pleasure, engagement, and meaning.

Pleasure is the ‘feel good’ part of happiness, while engagement refers to living a ‘good life’ of work, family, friends and hobbies. Finally, meaning refers to using our strengths to contribute to a larger purpose. Seligman says that all three are important, but that engagement and meaning make the most difference to living a happy life.

People try all kind of ways to reach that state of ‘feeling good’.

Stimulants

Stimulants of all kinds, from watching an exciting football game, going to the gym, shopping, having some coffee or a beer, sex or smoking weed, to Facebook and chatting on the phone, are often used as a way of ‘feeling good’. End month, for many in employment, is also a stimulant.

While many of these stimulants are socially acceptable and some may even be beneficial, there lies a danger of addiction. Some of them may lead to our inability to remain present and still — a state that gives long-term happiness and a feeling of peace.

Watch people in a restaurants or a matatu. Every so often we will look at our phones, even if it has not rang.

Buying Happiness

Another way people attempt to ‘feel good’ is the pursuit of wealth. We believe that the more we acquire, the happier we shall become.

Studies have shown that those who earn higher incomes are happier than those who earn less.

In a recent study on happiness, 38 per cent of those in the higher income bracket reported being happy with life. This is compared to 32 per cent of those in the lowest income bracket.

However, how come 62 per cent of those in the higher income bracket did not report being happy? Does money really make you happy?

Despite the fact that standards of living are said to have gone up and people are earning more money than they did a few decades ago, we are an unhappy lot. We certainly have more gadgets at our disposal than our grandparents had, or could have ever imagined.

Think of the cell phone with all its functions. About 15 years ago, people queued at telephone booths to make a call. The few people who had telephones in their houses were considered privileged.

The television we grew up knowing had one channel; VOK. Today, the channels are so many, we spend the whole evening flipping because we cannot make up our minds what to watch.

Yet we appear to be less happy.People are more depressed than they were a decade ago. Emotionally, we seem to be on a roller coaster. Some of the common negative emotions modern people seem to experience regularly include anger, irritation, sadness, loneliness, apathy, guilty, shame, hatred and jealousy.

I remember reading an article saying there are more than 2,500 words describing negative emotions in the English dictionary, but only 1,200 describing positive emotions.

Ailments associated with stress are on the rise: Obesity, high blood pressure, strokes, heart diseases, diabetes and so on.

Suicide

People seem to have lost the connection that gave life more meaning. The rate of family disintegration is on the increase as traditions and values that held families and communities together are labeled ‘outdated’. People seem to care less about each other and many have nobody to turn to when things become thick.

This may be a contributing factor to the increasing rate of suicide and homicide. As we pursue happiness in wealth and short-term stimulants, we may lose what is more important in the long term  our children,  families, communities, health and peace of mind.