Change one negative thought at a time

By Anne Mukei

I dedicate today’s piece to a friend I hold dear. At the moment, she resides in a dark room, and has been there for many days and nights. Of course she does not enjoy it; she wants to live and “enjoy the sunshine once again”. But huge chains of despair hold her back, stopping her from inching towards joy.

My friend has experienced profound trauma in the last few months. Her rather cruel and unfortunate experience has made her a cynical person.

She is no longer the bubbly person she used to be; she no longer emits the fire and energy that surrounds one who is living life with a big spoon.

She no longer finds joy in those fresh flowers, that crisp chicken, or that wholesome salad. She no longer laughs the loud laughter she used to.

Her nights are littered with episodes of panic attacks that leave her shaken to the core. Her days are peppered with anxious moments and flashes of deep sadness that only the strongest among us can withstand.

My dear friend is devastated, and she says that the intensity of the pain she felt on the first day her world was shattered is similar to what she feels today.

In her numerous moments of weakness, I find that I have little to tell her to console her wounded soul.

I have told her that her pain will pass. I have told her that time is a healer. I have told her that tomorrow is always a better day. I have told her that tomorrow, at a time like now, the pain will be less, that next year, on a day like this one, she may not even remember what made her so sad.

I have given her many examples of people who have undergone even bigger tragedies and yet they have come out smiling, happier, stronger, and even victorious. They have come out the bigger person, triumphing over their adversity.

I have told her to find a room in her heart and mind, where she can nestle, safe from the ravages of her mental anguish.

I share Louise L Hay’s words in Meditations to Heal your Life: “I am at home in my own heart. I take my heart with me wherever I live. As we begin to love ourselves, we find ourselves providing a safe and comfortable home for ourselves.

“Our homes are reflections of our minds and what we feel we are worthy of. If your home is a disaster zone and you feel overwhelmed, then just begin with one corner of one of the rooms.

“Just like with your mind, begin with changing one thought at a time. Eventually, the whole place will be tidy. As you work, remind yourself that you are also cleaning the rooms of your mind.”