When a society abandons its children

It was just after dawn, the familiar rush of a Kenyan morning—children in uniforms hurrying out, tea taken too fast, and parents already on the move.

In that early bustle, a student left home in a hurry and forgot his fare on the table.

A small mistake, the kind that happens often—like forgotten homework or a lunch box left behind.

But this time, it ended in tragedy, raising painful questions after reports that a student died after allegedly being unable to pay his fare.

“When did we stop seeing children, not students, passengers, customers, but as children, because before all the investigations, statements and headlines, there was a young person in school uniform trying to get to school,” laments Prof Rebecca Wambua, an educationist, author and counsellor.

She adds: “Somewhere along the way, something went terribly wrong, but this story is bigger than one bus. It is bigger than one conductor, bigger than one morning. The story, she says is about the society we have become.

According to Catherine Mugendi, a family counsellor and coach, many Kenyans grew up hearing a simple phrase: “Mtoto ni wa jamii” (A child belongs to all of us).

Mugendi says it was not unusual for a neighbour to discipline you, for a shopkeeper to protect you, or a stranger to help you find your way home. (Remember the ‘kwa Mbae’ story that went viral?).

“If a pupil forgot fare, someone stepped in, if a child looked lost, someone asked questions, and if a teenager appeared distressed, someone offered help,” says Mugendi, adding: Children moved through communities wrapped in an invisible safety net woven by ordinary adults.

Today, the family coach explains, that safety net appears to be fraying, because urban life has changed many of us and we have become busier, more suspicious, and more isolated.

“We keep our eyes on our phones and our headphones in our ears, and we have become more experts at minding our own business, though unfortunately, children are paying the price,” notes Prof Wambua. Psychologists, she says, call it the bystander effect.

The sad thing, she says, sometimes like in the case of the student in the schoolboy who lacked fare, nobody does.

Psychologist Geoffrey Onduto says the responsibility should be collective. “Children should not be left alone in adult crises,” he explains, noting that many already navigate such situations daily on their way to school.

From early morning rides to busy transfers across the city, many children travel independently, often handling delays, mistakes, and unfamiliar circumstances without adult guidance.

Yet experts warn that few families prepare children for such realities—what to do when money is lost, when they get stranded, or when they feel unsafe in transit.

Coach Mugendi says these are difficult but necessary conversations, often delayed until tragedy forces reflection, and calls for greater emphasis on practical life skills alongside formal education.

She emphasizes that children should be taught how to seek help, remember emergency contacts, and understand that mistakes should never strip them of dignity or compassion.

Onduto defines compassion as recognising vulnerability and responding with humanity. “A forgotten fare should be a problem, but never a catastrophe,” he says.

He warns that beyond visible dangers, society is also losing a sense of shared responsibility for children who depend on adults they do not know.