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Why simple questions turn into arguments in relationships

Why simple questions turn into arguments in relationships
This persistent ‘’fight or flight’’ mode leads to elevated stress levels, chronic anxiety and a feeling of profound loneliness (Photo: iStock)

Your spouse just walked into the kitchen and innocently asks, ‘’Are we having ugali for dinner again?’’ and what you hear is criticism of your efforts rather than a simple inquiry. What is happening in this case is sentimental overload, where every interaction and statement is filtered.

In a healthy relationship, a positive filter allows for benefit of the doubt. But when negative sentiment takes over, the emotional atmosphere becomes so saturated with unresolved grievances and positive or even neutral gestures get interpreted as hostile or an attack.

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