How to dump a clingy girlfriend

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A friend recently called me from a bar, faced with a terrible dilemma. He summoned the rare courage that comes after the seventh quick beer and told me he had tried to dump a woman in vain.

“Have you claimed that insanity runs in your family and you have a brother who has Down Syndrome?” I asked him, in no way being contemptuous towards the disabled or mentally challenged but desperate men can clutch at any straw. It happens.