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Bunge Chronicles: It's that season again as MPs skip sittings to confuse voters

By Brian Otieno | October 17th 2021

“Another minute has gone. I’m still all alone. How could this be? No one’s here with me.”

That must have been Deputy Speaker Moses Cheboi on Wednesday – remaking Michael Jackson’s 'You are not alone' as he tried to make sense of why his eyes only saw empty seats.

Present in Bunge that morning was a handful of wahesh, outnumbered by orderlies in green. Too bad the men and women who take their job seriously don’t count as part of the quorum.

As he ordered the division bell – which reminds the MPs it’s time to collect some sitting allowance – rang twice, the Kuresoi North mhesh must have been wondering how hard it was to raise 50 MPs.

Wonder no more Bwana Cheboi. It’s campaign season, and any MP attending Bunge’s sittings is playing Russian roulette with their career.

Everyone else is out there seeking an extension of their tenure. Those hoping to replace them – more than half of them – are not sleeping either. And that a party-less man became MCA on Thursday, beating partied men, is a bad omen.

Some wahesh have transformed into socialites, capturing every moment of their days in perfectly-timed photos. Others have become philanthropists, dishing out public funds to wananchi, with others sharpening their sycophancy skills.

The vast majority, however, are now evangelists, holding weekly crusades. So powerful they are that by a wave of the hand, they vaccinate the masses against Covid-19. It’s no wonder their followers wear no masks. In the next few weeks, this crop will probably invite the lame for healing.

The announcer from the State broadcaster said that only 50 MPs – out of 349 – were needed to start the morning sitting, failure to which the deputy speaker would adjourn proceedings.

You didn’t see news of a flopped sitting on Thursday, which means some wahesh just couldn’t let the sitting allowance go. Perhaps these are the ones who don’t fancy their chances in next year’s election.

You probably know by now that Thursday’s sitting was not different from Wednesday’s. Empty seats everywhere.

The wahesh might succeed in passing the laws they should have when they were accomplices in making life harder for Kenyans.

But seeing as they always have better things to do than attend Bunge, a presidential veto would stop them in their tracks.

Such a veto would require two-thirds of all wahesh to overturn, which translates to 233 MPs.

Can a House that struggles to raise 50 MPs pull such numbers?

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