Bunge Chronicles: Climate change and our MPs’ contribution to daily ‘pollution’

Parliament in a previous session. [Elvis Ogina, Standard]

Kenya’s famous epistler Irungu Kang’ata, who also adopts stage name Kang’ata wa Barua, accepts that climate change is a problem.

The Murang’a Senator agrees with the “scientific consensus” on the subject. Why wouldn’t he with all the evidence on effects of climate change? July is gradually ceding its title of being the coldest month to June. January isn’t as long as our ancestors remember it to be. Dry spells are getting longer.

Furthermore, our rather calm nation is experiencing tsunamis emanating from dry land and earthquakes whose tremors are “hardly felt”. Dormant volcanoes are erupting, blowing hot and cold multi-coloured lava. 

You can’t predict anything anymore. Not even the calendar of our wahesh of the National Assembly. They were barely back from recess when they took another. The CBC academic calendar - let me not start on that one.

Some chap called Joash Maangi is chasing the record on the most U-turns a man can make. Google him and be dazed by the extent to which climate change is messing with our minds.

And as Kang’ata told his colleagues on Thursday, Google the carbon print of the global south and you’ll find out that sub-saharan Africa contributes little to global climate change.

(Turns out the war we’ve been waging on our trees hasn’t done enough damage. Why don’t we cut down more and earn our rightful place in the global society of polluters? We can’t suck at everything. What does Africa contribute to the rest of the world, anyway? Lessons on dictatorship, perhaps? Overly-healthy wahesh?)

Kang’ata was reacting to a motion by Nominated Senator Abshiro Halake that wants climate change integrated into the school curriculum.

The former DJ suggested that Senate should, instead, come up with a motion targeting the big polluters.

“The people who should be telling us why they have caused climate to change are the Europeans, the Japanese and the Chinese. Not Africans,” he said.

Of course, Abshiro objected on the grounds that Kang’ata was downplaying the issue.

“Is it in order for the honourable Senator to mislead the nation that climate change is not an African problem?” She posed.

Before we go on, get this straight. Kang’ata agrees that climate change is a problem everywhere, he just doesn’t believe Africans are causing it. Temporary speaker, Laikipia Senator John Nderitu, reminded senators as much.

But it would be interesting to find out how much pollution our wahesh do whenever they open their mouths to speak in public. All that sludge must, surely, count for something. Or are they not Africans, Bwana Kang’ata?