What you learnt from borrowing money from your wife

At the moment, you are not in talking terms with your wife. Reason: she gave you a soft-loan, which you did not pay in time, and that interfered with her chama payments schedule. Now, there is a cold war looming large in your household. It is larger than the American-Russian cold war.

"You knew you were not going to get the money in time, you have (expletive) me up so badly," Carol says, in yet the angriest tantrum you have received from her. Her outbursts have been unnerving you. Would she be this mad if you cheated on her?

"I will never give you money ever again. You so unreliable!" she literally screams at you.

You try to calm her down, assuring her that you will pay her as soon as possible, or latest end month, but she is not interested. She is so hostile the bedroom is literally so hot. She sleeps facing the other side and even touching her is out of question, 'how dare you?'

You should have known better. Whereas, Carol borrows money from you every so often and she never returns, presumably because your money is family money, anytime you borrowed from her and you miss the payment schedule even by second, it is potentially a world war. You have borrowed money from her for personal projects, and she is always generous and kind when she gives. What she hates is when you dilly-dally with paying her back. That makes her mad.

After her latest outburst, you have decided that you will borrow your male friends than risk ruining your marriage. But why are women so touchy with their finances?

Money brings the worst out of women, you have come to learn. In fact, when you casually asked your friends in the bar about borrowing money, they laughed that you can be too naïve as not to know that the cardinal rule of marriage is to steer clear of your wife's finances as possible.

"You will never know how and where she spends her money. Her pay slip may be better than yours, but you will still chip in more than she does and she will still claim to be broke," says Martin, your drinking buddy.

"But that is because they have these expenses like hair, keeping up with fashion trends and such that we men, don't have," you interject, but Martin hears none of it.

"I know of colleague. The wife earns Sh 200,000 and he earns around Sh 100,000 but he does everything for the household, just about the only thing the wife does is pay the house help, even the house he is building in Kitengela, he does it alone," Martin adds.

"Certainly the wife has invested elsewhere without his knowledge. May be her chama or somewhere, women are not fools. It is them buying plots secretly and building apartments like our fathers used to do," says Shem, your quiet buddy, in one inspired moment. May be it is because Arsenal has won against Man City and he is in such a good mood.

"Look, guys, just make more than she does, through whatever means and just be in charge. If she volunteers, well and good, but never be beholden to her money," concludes Shem sounding like Aristotle.

You both agree that is the way to go. In the meantime, Martin has to give you the money so that you can calm your wife with it and then you can pay him at the end of the month. That is how you world peace will be achieved.

@nyanchwani

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