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Hi Chris,
I thought I knew how men and women behave in the dating game. But things seem far more complicated in real life than in films and books! Help me figure out what is going on!Confused
Chris says,
Hi Confused!
You are right, films and books do over-simplify everything! Like how they always show women picking the richest men, while the men chase any girl who looks sexy.
But in real life, things depend on who makes the first move. Both men and women are choosy when someone approaches them, and much less critical when the situation is reversed. This puts men at a disadvantage because they are expected to take the initiative.
So the good men wait until they see signs of real interest in a girl’s eyes before they make a move. This means that you are always the one doing the choosing, even though he is the one who comes over and says the first words.
Men are always shown liking one-night stands more than women. But if you got an offer from someone familiar, famous or ferociously attractive, you would probably be as receptive as any man!
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It is also assumed that men enjoy sex more than women. But that’s only really true about hook-ups. In a long-term partnership, you can have just as much pleasure as a man.
Surveys that ask how many sexual partners people want always tell us that all men want more than women. But that’s because a tiny number of promiscuous men inflate the results.
In real life, almost all men and women are happiest with just one steady partner. And how many sexual partners do men and women have during their lives? In real life, the numbers for men and women are almost identical.
Even the idea that men think about sex all the time is untrue. Okay, they do think about it a bit more than women. But men also think about food more often than women. And sleeping! So sex is not really any more important to a man than any of his other needs.
All the best,
Chris
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