Weird demands men make in the bedroom

Since the beginning of time as women we've done all sorts of things in the name of making our men happy. We have bought long European hair because although men claim they hate weaves, they are drawn to women in weaves like bees to nectar. When men discovered they loved women with big butts, we went out and bought strange potions that fatten our backsides, or just cheated and bought padded underwear instead.