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I feel impaired for being an introvert

 I feel impaired for being an introvert (Photo: iStock)

Hi Chris,

I enjoy being alone and have to be dragged out on Saturday nights. So I guess that makes me an introvert!

And I am beginning to realise that can be a disadvantage in life. I do not want to change though, so how do I succeed as a loner?


Chris says,

Hi Introvert!

I guess you also prefer one-on-one conversations? Don't enjoy parties? Find small talk boring? You probably do not reveal much about yourself either, are not easily swayed by other people's opinions, and like to develop your ideas privately rather than talking about them.

While extroverts do not like being alone, love crowds, and tend to have lots of friends. They choose people-oriented jobs such as sales and are open with their thoughts, feelings and opinions.

And you are right, modern life does favour extroverts, so they dominate politics, business and social life. Being described as a 'people person' is a compliment, while introverts are seen as reserved. And that isn't.

Introverts find job searching especially tough, so only apply to organisations that genuinely suit their personality. Be comfortable with who you are. You are not weird or shy, you just think differently.

Introverts generally find networking hard, so try to meet people one-on-one, rather than in crowds. Concentrate your networking with other introverts because they will understand you.

But you should also learn to appreciate your extroverted work colleagues because you complement one another. Like they enjoy meeting people, while you prefer working alone, and can focus better on tasks involving memory, planning and problem-solving.

Survive parties by just staying for an hour. Make an appearance, have a quick drink, greet the host or hostess, and just try to get to know one or two people there.

Above all, accept your introverted traits, and be comfortable with them. You will only need to change things if you are not getting what you need. Like maybe one day you will decide you want to get married. Then let that be what motivates you to learn dating skills and small talk. And with an important goal like that in mind, you will enjoy the experience!

All the best,


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