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Should couples talk about money before marriage?

Relationships

 

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 Should I worry about him not talking about his finances? (Photo: iStock)

Hi Chris,

My boyfriend and I are planning to marry next year, and so I have tried several times to talk with him about our finances.

Like how we will pay for the wedding, manage household expenses when we are living together and so on. But he always seems to put the conversation off.

He says I am worrying too much and everything will be fine. But I would feel a lot more comfortable if I really understood what we can afford and how it would all work.

Money Talk

Chris says,

Hi Money Talk!

I think you are right. Talk now, because the money often causes arguments between couples. Mostly because everyone handles money differently. Maybe one of you likes to save, while the other spends every last shilling they earn. The best way to avoid arguments like that is to start talking about money before you marry.

So lay all your financial cards on the table long before the wedding. Your income, expenditure, loans, savings and future plans. Make a budget together, and think through how you will manage the housekeeping, individual spending money, savings, whether to have a joint bank account and so on.

The happiest couples tend to regard money as a basic necessity and concentrate on building the best possible relationship with each other. Lots of inexpensive kindnesses, small gifts, compliments and attention add far more to your happiness than expensive nights out or flashy cars.

And don’t keep bringing up the subject! Endless bickering about money, especially along the lines of ‘you do not give me enough,’ or ‘you spend too much,’ can be the death of even the most promising relationship.

All the best,

Chris

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