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The merits of marrying an older woman

My Man

The biggest news from the Western hemisphere this past month was the tightly contested French elections that Emmanuel Macron won against Marine Le Pen by razor-thin margin, prompting the May 7, run off.

Another news emerged that the dashing Macron is married to a woman who is 24 years older than him and that has become the story, despite the two contenders being outsiders who represent extreme ideological differences, and the election has torn the French republic apart being the bigger news.

Macron's wife was his school teacher and he made vow to marry her when he was 17. The father exiled the probable future president if only to scatter them, but according to a Daily Mail interview, this only strengthened their resolve and now, Brigittie Trogneux is likely to be the First Lady. Virtually every French president after the Second World War had some unusual marriage arrangement that by our puritanical standards we may frown upon; latest being that of Francois Hollande, and even his predecessor Nicolas Sarkozy.

But a French friend recently told me that it is the non-French who are always fixated by these things and in France few people know about Macron's romantic life, and all care about is if he will beat Le Pen in the runoff than his marriage to a woman old enough to be his mother. Blame it on the British or is it American morality that polices the nature of public lives of politicians of countries that subscribe to their doctrines.

When you come down to it, every man will confess to have fantasized about sleeping or marrying an older teacher back in school, given a chance. It may have been the beautiful madam in primary school, or the young female teachers on Teaching Practice in high school who gave us wet dreams mercilessly. Many a boy was caned for not being able to control an erection in a hot afternoon. Even the kerosene soup they served with githeri never averted similar disasters.

There is always something alluring about older woman. A well-kept woman in the evening side of her 30s or early 40s. We call them MILFS and for a reason. Some call them the more derogatory 'cougar'. But all in all, every man at some point in his life will want to sleep with an older woman and increasingly many don't mind marrying an older woman.

Older women are rich in experience. If educated, they can have substance and the intellectual firepower to sustain a good conversation, after sex. Or during dinner date. Dating these young people can be frustrating if you are not into fashion and trash Hollywood nonsensical drama series. Women, even those who get First-Class in campus are deeply apathetic in world affairs and anything that is not on Instagram. That kills me on the inside. But older women are above that.

Older women are wiser and patient and can give a young man patience to grow, make mistakes and learn. Younger women are a pain in the neck. Or wallet. Older women are well-networked and can swing a job or money your way if you do a good job, where it matters.

Having been there, done it, with a few medals to boot, older women do not suffer the insecurities of younger women. They probably pay their rent, hence they don't have to lie to you, play you, or do anything desperate for rent or smartphone. Dealing with a woman who has or can take care of her lifestyle is one of the best gifts of living in large, predatory city like Nairobi.

Many Nairobi men of my age know the trouble of dating these young women, since no sooner you have a night out with her than a text lands on your phone less 72 hours later asking for Sh 5,000 for her gas, or rent or anything. Older women are past these setbacks.

However, older women can be control freaks. They can act like your mother at her worst, and you must be at their beck and call. Though not all are like this. Another thing is that they can dump you at their own pleasure and time and you must be on alert, lest they pull a fast one on you. But still the merits by far outstrip the demerits.

My advice, if there is an older woman somewhere you are eyeing and want to marry, do so by all means. It can be the best thing that can happen to you. These young girls can be quite a handful.

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