Tedd Josiah: I am looking for a Queen

How old are you?

I am turning 46 this year

You got your fashion sense from Abuja?

I got my fashion sense from a place called Bielsa. People there have a lot of similarities with Kenyans at the Coast. They have Kanzu but they just call them wrappers. They play chakacha; they just have a different name for it.

Is Tedd Josiah the name on your ID?

My name is Edmond Josiah. Josiah is our family name from my great grandfather. He asked that everybody be called Josiah. I have relatives who were in the Foreign Affairs ministry, and...

Are you referring to Frost Josiah?

Not just Frost Josiah. Frost and Green Josiah as well.

Your surname is so English...

It is. Isn’t it? (Laughs)

And you've travelled around the world quite a bit. Do you have white relatives?

Look at me. I am so black. I don’t know how that family name came about. But I remember once at Stockholm Trent I saw a statue of a famous soldier called Josiah. My great grandfather was in the military. I thought probably that was an inspiration for him to adopt that name. The Josiahs prided themselves in all things white and being educated.

So, Edmond, where is your village?

I come from a place called Sulo in Ugenya. When you go to my village we are known as Joosiya. They pronounce it very differently.

With such Victorian English rolling off your tongue can you speak Luo?

Yes. I can speak Swahili too.

You are fluent in Luo?

Well, I try. You know, I spent a lot of my childhood in Chicago, USA. I can understand Luo fully. I can’t speak it fluently though because Luo purists will stone me if I speak it badly (laughs).

Yourself, in that outfit, I can assume you don't carry stones...

I don’t.

I know. You are too English to carry stones...

No. I am not English. I am neo-African. The kind of person who is optimistic enough to know that Africa doesn’t need handouts anymore and to know when the West is bullsh***ng. I am the African who believes we can feed them and they don’t have to feed us.

You spoke of music as your only lasting love. Who are your other loves?

Good Lord! I have a son and a daughter: Sean and Jazmin. I have been blessed with that from my previous marriage which ended just before I took off in 2008. A lot of things crumbled at that time. Since then it has been touch and go.

There was a rumour that you were fleeing; some unknown people wanted to harm you...

Yes. I was working for Raila at that time. We came up with the now infamous rebuttal for ‘Domo Domo’ advert. Mama Lucy, then the first lady, went on TV and asked people to kindly ask us to stop interfering with their commercials. People took it seriously, literally. There was an attempt to kidnap me and thank God I had people around me who protected me.

So, it would be correct to say that you left in 2008 because of politics?

That is true. It got a little hot in the kitchen. I did — like I still do today. I believe at my age you should have an opinion (I am no longer 21 and life is not about Jameson and blacking out).

Just how deep does your relationship with music run?

I have been in the music industry for 27 years now. Music is my first love. It is the one thing that has surpassed all my marriages and relationships. That relationship has come to a place where I have to think critically before I move. She will always tell me, ‘you’ve been there done that’.

Would you describe yourself as a musician and producer?

If you give me a camera I will film. If you give me a piece of clay I will do a sculpture. If you give me pastels I will paint. If you give me a keyboard I will make music. So, I believe I am a creative. I excelled in all those things at Eastleigh High school. But now that I am in my 40s, I am actually thinking maybe I should take up that art for the mental freedom.

At what point in your career do you think you outdid yourself?

I can’t think of any. I am not yet there; nothing comes close. I know I had moments like unbwoggable; moments like Kenyan boy Kenyan girl. I have worked with so many award -winning artistes. But they are just part of my tapestry. Plus, I don’t want to be held back by ‘the best moment in my career’. I have a long way to go.

You are not dating?

Being 46 now and trying to be in a relationship nowadays (sigh) with young people... let me just say I don’t want to be a sponsor.

Why not? So many ladies are looking for sponsors...

I believe a King requires a queen to build a kingdom. A king, unless he is Egyptian, does not require a harem.

Not even a concubine?

None of that. I don’t need any female conquests. I am searching for a queen who knows how to hold herself up high.

But a man has needs...

Yes a man has needs. But you know you can go to the gym; workout. You can pray. And, in my situation, like I said – music is a very selfish lover. If you don’t pay attention to music, she will jilt you. I spend a lot of time in my studio. And I am also thinking I need to start praying more.

Are you that religious?

I am not religious. I believe in God, however.

With a capital 'G'?

Yes. Actually, the failure with my relationships, I have realised, is because I didn’t put God first. And if you are a man who is not with God then you are merely a sponsor. Right now I am single and searching. Actually, I think I should do a reality show for senior bachelors.

This time round it will be for keeps?

It must be.

What qualities will you be looking for in this woman?

She must be God fearing. She must be sexy – both inside and outside.

Will she have a wig?

She won’t have a wig. She won’t have a weave. Look, let’s be natural. If I came to you with a free credit card and you assumed it had a lot of money, I would be selling you a lie. If you came to me with fake eyelashes, nails, hair, I would assume you are not selling me the truth.

It is that bad?

It was bad when I was on a date and the nails came off. She just glued them back. I wanted the earth to open and swallow me.

Back to music: If I came to you and I want to be a musician, how does it go?

I will give you the mic. In 30 seconds I will know if you have what it takes: if you are ready for it.