Starving husband waylays wife, feasts on pastors delicacy

A fortnight ago, a man caused a stir in Nyeri County after he waylaid his wife on her way to church, snatched a way the food she had prepared for her pastor and began munching it, bang in the middle of the road.

The woman had volunteered to be cooking and taking her pastor packed lunch, every Sunday. However, this was a plan that her husband had no clue about. She always prepared the meals at her home; seeing as her husband was never home every Sunday morning.

Her husband was always at chang’aa (local brew) dens, drinking himself silly. Having been made aware of the plan by his children, besides suspecting his wife of having an affair with one of the pastor, the man vowed to bust her.

Her husband is said to have been particularly angered by the fact that she had developed a habit of preparing delicacies for the pastor, and cooking not-so-tasty meals for her family. Something her children and husband could not take lying down.

For instance, on one occasion, her children stumbled upon kilograms of meat neatly wrapped in a paper bag stuffed in her kiondo (bag), hoping to enjoy the meat that day lunchtime, but to their shock she never cooked it for them.

She, instead, used the meat to prepare pilau for the pastor.  After the incident the children reported her to their father, a drunk who never took the matter seriously. He simply scoffed at their mother, in her absence and vowed to take action one day.

“I wish your mother could feed you the way she feeds those potbellied pastors. Let me get her cooking for the pastor one day, she will know me better” he reportedly mumbled to his children.

In the current incident, the man left the homestead ostensibly for his usual Sunday Morning drinking escapades, and his wife, as usual, began preparing delicacies for the pastor.

Once she was done, she packed the pilau in a hot pot and left for church. Midway, she bumped into her husband on his way back home. Suspicious of the neatly packed hotpot, he grabbed it and demanded to know what it contained.

His wife unsuccessfully tried to grab it back. Without wasting any time, the man began munching the food as he made derogatory remarks about the pastor and how church has deceived its congregates today.

“Yaani nyama ikariagwo kanithaini no mucii tuhunagio ni mucingu? (So you decided meat should only be eaten at the church and the rest of us at home have to contend with sniffing the aroma? Huh!)” Shouted the husband, drawing the attention of passersby most of them heading to church.

Piqued by the pronouncement, the woman told the husband off and warned him that his insults were desecrating his family’s relationship with God.

“Do you know how much God has blessed us? It is extremely unfair for you to insult a man of God merely because of food!” bellowed his wife. While at it he kept making sarcastic statements about his wife and her peculiar magnanimity to “pot-bellied” preachers.

“Yaani iro cia ahunjia ikoragwo na murio uguo! Nama ningutiga njohi honoke nyanjie kuhunjia. II ndikiriage wega onani! (So the preacher’s food is this sweet! I think I will soon quite alcohol and become a clergy man so I can also be eating such tasty meals)” he said, as he giggled.

His wife, unable to bear the embarrassment, set off for church still cursing her drunken husband.