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How to stop being a “pick me” type of woman

Girl Talk
 Men really value what they have worked hard for (Image: Shutterstock)

The phrase “pick me” has become an increasingly popular term to describe women who are willing to do anything to be chosen by a man. A “pick me” woman desperately wants to be in a relationship by fire, by force and will step outside of her true character to win the attention of a man.

Women who do this don’t realise that they, in fact, are the prize because they try to act like the prize by showing desperation, and then treat the man like the prize once they get him. The truth is that men really value what they have worked hard for. This is especially true with their shoes, cars and properties.

A “pick me” woman with low self-esteem will let the man treat them like a place-holder because she is in 'need' of a man.

 A “pick me” woman desperately wants to be in a relationship  (Image: Shutterstock)

Once a woman knows her true worth and value, she cannot accept to be treated any less than her true worth. 

Below are four rules to follow to avoid being a “pick me” woman.


A “pick me!” woman is obsessed with having a man in her life to the point of accepting every bad trait that he has. She will accept lies, deceit and manipulation just for the sake of having a “man”.

Having a romantic companion is a great thing and something that most single women desire. However, a partner should not manipulate you or make you second guess yourself.

 Buying him nice things will not win him over (Image: Shutterstock)
Buying his affection

This type of woman will overextend herself in the hopes that a man will see her worth. Ladies, this is an ineffective move to make when trying to win over a man because men typically want someone that will be a little challenging to get.

Buying him things, especially outside of special occasions, will not win him over. You don’t need to prove to a man that you are super independent and want to spoil him. You are the prize after all!

 Being convenient and overly available are mediocre traits for a woman of high value (Image: Shutterstock)
Excessive availability

A “pick me” often accepts last-minute plans from a man. A woman who does this drops her own plans to honour the man’s abrupt summons. Being convenient and overly available are mediocre traits for a woman of high value.

Don’t make it easy for a man to play games with you. Meet up with a man, not only when it’s convenient for them, but when it’s also convenient for you because you also have your own life outside of him.

No commitment

It’s important that your ‘situation’ with a man is official and exclusive if that’s your desire. A “pick me” woman will be loyal, faithful and ride-or-die for a man who has made absolutely no commitment to her. Going on dates and talking on the phone all night is not a true relationship. A true relationship is defined by a mutual agreement from both parties.

To men, sex is a physiological and biological need, whereas, with women, it is more of an emotional way of expressing interest. If the situation is not official or exclusive, you should not commit.

Who do you confide in?

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