Trying to make her reach the 'Big O' in bed? This is what you should do

According to psychologist Faith Nafula Atsango, the failure to induce or experience squirting may make someone feel sexually inferior, which is wrong.  “The belief that squirting is the highest sexual point in a woman’s sexual experience is untrue and misleading,” she says. Dr Nyokabi Kibuka, a medical practitioner based in Nairobi, says squirting is real and medically, any woman can experience it.

“It is about the right point of contact. There is a spot that needs to be stimulated for it to happen, it has nothing to do with the right partner. It’s just that for women, the clitoris is the same as the penis, only that it is a small version. If you can have an orgasm, then you can also squirt.”

Dr Kibuka says that squirting and orgasm in women only happens when a woman is comfortable with her partner, or is very confident. “For women, sex is more of a mental thing, so if you are married and your wife has never experienced it, slowly start working towards it. It can take months, but eventually she will reach it. Make time when you can’t be interrupted and let her get comfortable with her body and you.”

With more knowledge and dedication, men can easily satisfy their women. This is according to Dr Stephen Mutiso, a leading gynaecologist at Kenyatta National Hospital.

Mutiso notes that men have no problem in reaching a climax unlike women. “Women need more stimulation than men. This can be disastrous for men who are prone to premature ejaculation,” he says. Reasons why women take longer to heat up, according to the doctor, include the ‘awkward’ location of the clitoris relative to the man’s sex organ.

The clitoris, a woman’s primary organ of pleasure, is elevated slightly higher, making it hard to be adequately stimulated during intercourse. This however does not mean that a woman cannot achieve orgasm.

He says that a knowledgeable man who understands the anatomy of his woman can adequately satisfy her. As a reproductive specialist, he recommends that couples who have struggled with enjoying sexual intimacy should visit an obstetrician to ascertain if they are physically healthy, since good sex is largely dependent on physical health.

That notwithstanding, the enjoyment of sex, he adds, is primarily determined by the state of mind. It would be impossible for a woman to climax if she has emotional ‘hang ups’ against the man; or if she is distracted or stressed.

There are women who suffer from uncontrollable orgasms. Mutiso says that such women suffer from persistent genital arousal. That, he says, is not good like many would think. Just like erectile dysfunction, it is a disorder that needs to be fixed.