x Eve Woman Wellness Readers Lounge Leisure and Travel My Man Bridal Health Relationships Parenting About Us Digital News Videos Opinions Cartoons Education E-Paper Lifestyle & Entertainment Nairobian Entertainment Eve Woman Travelog TV Stations KTN Home KTN News BTV KTN Farmers TV Radio Stations Radio Maisha Spice FM Vybez Radio Enterprise BULK SMS E-Learning Digger Classified The Standard Group Corporate Contact Us Rate Card Vacancies DCX O.M Portal Corporate Email RMS
Login ×

How to tell your partner you need alone time

Girl Talk - By Audrey Masitsa | October 27th 2020 at 10:04:24 GMT +0300
Explain the benefits of time apart for you as individuals and for your relationship (Photo: Shutterstock)

One of the things I’ve come to realise is important for my mental health is alone time. I don’t mean completely isolating yourself from others, rather taking time away each day, let’s say an hour or two, to be by yourself and recharge before immersing yourself in family life.

However, when your significant other likes to spend time together, it can be difficult getting them to understand that your needing time to yourself doesn’t mean that you don’t enjoy their company, instead you just need it to regroup and energise yourself. If you’re wondering how to delicately ask your partner for alone time, read on.

1. Be specific about what alone time means to you

Before you broach this sensitive topic, reflect on what you need. This will help you be more specific about what you mean by alone time when you do sit down to speak to your partner. Do you need an hour on your own when you come in from work, for example, or would you like to watch your favourite TV show alone? Once you know what it is that you need, be ready to discuss it with your partner.

2. Understand that it’s okay to want alone time

It’s easy to get so immersed in your relationship that you forget to nurture yourself. You start sharing friends, interests, and end up spending all your spare time together. While this is not intrinsically bad, we each need to give ourselves time to be individuals and avoid codependency.

It’s healthy to want alone time. This can be the ideal time to pursue your hobbies, reconnect with friends or even try out that course you always wanted to. This will enable you to grow as an individual and you will have a healthier approach to your relationship.

  2. 1. Telltale signs that your friends are trustworthy
  3. 2. #Confessions: My best friend loves me but I'm worried we're going to mess it up
  4. 3. #Confessions: I still love my cheating ex but he can’t make up his mind
  5. 4. Why you should consider scheduling intimacy
Look for ways to spend time together to make up for the time apart (Photo: Shutterstock)

3. Remember, this is not a fight

Avoid blaming, accusing or making demands. This is a discussion that you should have in a calm environment. Start by being clear that wanting alone time doesn’t mean that you are tired of your partner. Explain why you need it and how it will benefit you and your relationship.

If your partner has a negative reaction towards your request, stay firm. Don’t allow sulking or harsh words to change your mind. Remember why you need the alone time and that it will make you a better partner. Nevertheless, be gentle and take your partner’s feelings into consideration.

4. Have a plan for afterwards

To help a partner who thrives on spending time together cope with alone time, come up with a plan on things you can do together. This can be having dinner together, watching a movie, going for a walk, etc. These activities will help reassure your partner that your need for alone time is to help you be a better person and partner and that you still treasure them.

5. Encourage them to make use of the time apart

Show your partner that they too can benefit from your request for alone time. Point out things that they can also do like hanging out with friends, starting that project they’ve been talking about or going to the gym. This way, you will both benefit from time apart and come back a stronger, happier couple.

Top Stories

Man catfished by woman falls in love with her sister after she used her photos
Girl Talk - By Mirror

Ne-Yo announced he was divorcing wife Crystal Smith on podcast before telling her
Entertainment - By Mirror

Harry and Meghan's 'belongings removed from Frogmore Cottage as Princess Eugenie moves in'
Entertainment - By Mirror

Prince Harry and Eugenie's unique bond - and devastating Meghan secret betrayal
Entertainment - By Mirror

#Confessions: I still love my cheating ex but he can’t make up his mind
Relationships - By Mirror

4 ways to break a soul tie
Relationships - By Jennifer Karina

7 Benefits of using eggs for facial treatment
Skin Care - By Naomi Mruttu

Dry-humping can get you pregnant...even with your clothes on
Health - By Daily Mail

10 Ways you can use toothpaste to achieve a perfect skin
Readers Lounge - By Davis Muli

4 ways to break a soul tie
Relationships - By Jennifer Karina

Latest Stories

Bad idea: Driving lessons from your man
Girl Talk - By Beryl Wanga Itindi

Man catfished by woman falls in love with her sister after she used her photos
Girl Talk - By Mirror

Girl code: People, he is my husband, not my robot
Girl Talk - By Beryl Wanga Itindi

Eight dating trends singles should watch out for in 2021
Girl Talk - By Mirror

Confessions: My husband died before building a house for me, how do I approach my co-wife?
Girl Talk - By Hilda Boke Mahare

Girl code: Yes, your husband is still someone’s son
Girl Talk - By Beryl Wanga Itindi

#MyWord: How do you know you’re broken?
Girl Talk - By Christine Koech

How to know if your group of friends is toxic
Girl Talk - By Lolita Bunde

Signs you have an anxious attachment style
Girl Talk - By Audrey Masitsa

Confessions: My husband loves Liverpool FC more than me so I've started cheating on him
Girl Talk - By Mirror

Stay Ahead!

Access premium content only available
to our subscribers.

Support independent journalism
Log in
Support independent journalism
Create an account    Forgot Password
Create An Account
Support independent journalism
I have an account Log in
Reset Password
Support independent journalism
Log in