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How to know you are being manipulated in your relationship

Girl Talk - By Rachel Murugi | April 3rd 2020 at 06:35:00 GMT +0300
Manipulation involves your partner getting into your head and making you do as they please (Shutterstock)

Manipulation is a form of abuse that can go on for years without you knowing. By the time you realize you've been in the dark all this while, it can be too late. It involves someone using different tactics to get into your head and make you do as they please which is a form of control. Here's how to know that you're being manipulated in your relationship.

Your partner makes you feel guilty

Your partner wants you to wash their car and asks you to do it. When you are almost saying no because you're tired or simply don't want to, they put up a face or remind you of a favour they've done for you recently insinuating that you should 'repay'. Before you know it, you're scrabbling the car tyres clean. This form of making you feel guilty is a way of twisting your mind to think that by standing your foot down, you're hurting your partner. It removes the focus from ‘how you feel’ to always ‘how your partner feels’ which is selfish.

They make you believe in their own thoughts and ways

Manipulators get into your head and strip you of your thinking. Take for instance a scenario where you spot a homeless puppy on the street. Your partner knows too well that you don't like dog's and wouldn't want extra responsibility of taking care of a pet. However, they use sympathy to show you how the dog is suffering and before you know it, your house has a pet that you seemingly accepted to host. Once you notice you're doing things you usually wouldn't do, there's an element of manipulation in your relationship.

It is difficult to develop as a couple if you have to succumb to your partner's off emotions every time (Shutterstock)

You're responsible for their emotions

For such, you'll spot your partner always irresponsible in handling and containing their emotions. They seems to tag you along their rollercoaster of emotional downpour and they fail to apologise for their wrong reaction, blaming it on your provocation. If you intended to go to the market together, they'll begin expressing how bad they feel and how you shouldn't leave them alone. This puts you at crossroads on whether to go and shop or not. Without reasoning, they'll want to argue out that by you 'defying them' and going, you've made them hurt more or worsen. With such behavior, it becomes extremely difficult to develop as a couple as you'll have to succumb to their off emotions every time.

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All their insecurities are poured on you

You may have heard of the constant question women ask their partners, "Honey, I'm I fat?" Such a question is always a catch 22 situation, where you have a gun to your head. Either way, you die. When being manipulated, you'll realize that as a man whose lady is plump, they wonder what to respond since the weight answer expected isn't the true one but one that is highlighting the lady's insecurities. Such make men in this instance want no conversations since any answer they give shall be used against them.

When in a relationship with a manipulator, they may also use humor to taunt you or coerce you into something you don't like. Visiting a counselor can be a brilliant way of identifying the problem and working your way around having a healthier relationship.

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