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Six ways to handle an unromantic boyfriend

Girl Talk By Vivianne Wandera

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New relationships come with the burden of having to constantly impress your new partner. This means, there will be several dates, night outs, trips to the park and picnics. Your new flame will do everything to try and make you happy, one way or another.  When getting into a relationship, you expect your boyfriend to surprise you with romantic dinners, romantic weekend getaways or serve you your favorite breakfast in bed.

Nonetheless, what happens when you end up with a guy? One who is not in touch with his romantic side and cannot tell the difference between a romantic and nonromantic gesture? This can be disappointing and frustrating at the same time. Well, he cannot be fully blamed for being unromantic since it is not something one is born with. Being romantic is a skill. It is acquired through time, so do not go all in on your man for not doing what your exes or your friend’s boyfriends are doing for them. With time and a little bit of direction, you will be shocked at how much your boyfriend can learn and how he can change.

These six tips can help you deal with an unromantic boyfriend in the gentlest ways without getting either of you hurt.

Communicate on what you expect

You need to understand that if your boyfriend is an unromantic soul, he has no idea what being romantic means. You should not expect him to know what he has to do to express his romantic side without you telling him.

The best thing to do is to tell him what you expect. This will help him understand how things are done in the romance world. This will help open his eyes and he will know what he has to do if he wants to make you happy. 

Don’t judge him based on his strengths and weaknesses

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Do not let his romantic side make you question his affection for you. It is important for you to understand that he cares for you and loves you but he only has problems expressing his romantic side with gestures. As soon as you realize this, it will be easier for you to cope with the issue at hand. Unromantic people see things differently from others because they do not have a feeling for what is romantic and what's not. You need to be his guide and stay patient with him. There is nothing wrong with your boyfriend, he just needs some time and a little bit of effort.

Don’t compare him to your exes

Comparing your boyfriend to other men you dated is the worst thing you can ever do. It is painful for him to have to listen to these comparisons all the time. Put yourself in his shoes and imagine how you would feel if he made the same comparisons with you. Making these comparisons will only prolong the situation and hurt his feelings yet your goal is to open his eyes and lead him in the romance direction, not to hurt him more in the process.

Show him what to do

When explaining to him what to do, remember to show him how it's done. Plan a romantic dinner and serve him breakfast in bed or think of something you have always wanted to do together then show him how it is done. When he sees what you have done, he will be able to connect the dots and make steps in the right direction. Whatever he decides to do, let him know that you are proud of his baby steps and his effort.

Be ready to compromise

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Be ready to do things that you have avoided doing in the past. If your boyfriend is into sports and gaming, try sitting next to him and ask him to teach you how to play and enjoy these moments together.

A romantic atmosphere can be created regardless of the activities you engage. When he sees that you are willing to go out of your way to do something he really enjoys doing, he will also be ready to do the same for you. He will stop making excuses whenever you are supposed to do something together and he will always be excited to spend time with you. He will do everything to make you happy because he knows how much this means to you and to your relationship.

 Appreciate his efforts

Never forget to appreciate your boyfriend’s efforts because he will need your support to show him that he is doing something right. Appreciating him means being able to tell him that you are proud of his progress and you are thankful for the things he does for you. He does not have to do something big for you to let him know he has done something right.

All the greatest things need practice and being romantic is no exception. If you persistently keep supporting your partner through his transformational journey you will be surprised at what the both of you can achieve together.  

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