Could the Kenyan women with real 'assets' stand up

After the piece on fake things that many a woman take us through, some of my boys club added a few. Have you ever looked at a woman and wondered if she is wearing black hand gloves? This is because the complexion of her hands and face are not the same.

The other day, we were at a pub with my pal Brian and a girl walked by, and asked us to look after her drink which she proceeded to put on the counter. As the hand stretched to place the glass on the table, I had to confirm that the bearer of the glass was the same person I was looking at in the face.

It was scary; I thought my whiskey was getting the better of me. Girls, this business of skin lightening will one day consume you. Who said light is beautiful? What happened to the darker the berry, the sweeter the juice? Is black beauty dead and buried?

Going by the way many girls are lightening their skins, they could end up spending several hours waiting to vote come next year, only to be denied their constitutional right because the election officials cannot ascertain that the bearer of the identity cards is the same as the one on them.

If ever there was something that should never have been faked, it’s the boobs. Fake anything, fake that twang, fake the walking style, as they say fake it until you make it, but never ever fake those boobs.

Another aspect that has kept men guessing are hips. Every time a man looks at them, he must ask himself: “Am I praising false things?” This is because; nearly half of the hips being paraded in this town are fake.

How can a woman have a tiny waist and then possess hips that looks that look like they have a mind of their own? It is good to have nice natural hips, but if you insist on injecting yourself with stuff that makes you balloon from behind, you give the suggestion that all your brain cells have been squeezed into one organ. This is not a good thing; because anything you say is thought to be emanating from the wrong end of your anatomy.